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Boss said she wouldn't have hired me

3 months ago

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Had a different boss when I came on 8 months ago. This week newer boss comments she wouldn't have hired me, would have hired someone from the industry (new to me). I thought we had a good relationship and I was doing ok at work except missing one report since I'm down staff and am covering for 4 weeks now the staff that either quit or went back to school. It was awful to hear this especially now that 4 out of 5 days a week in spent covering for the staff we simply don't have and now managing 17 people when I used to only have 3 direct reports. To say I feel awful and stressed is not even touching the surface. I feel there's no appreciation for the fact im left filling in for our staffing crisis and can barely now have a single day in the office to address the things I need to do and that day is usually full of meetings. I want to quit. Is that giving up? Her comment was demoralizing and didnt build me up at all. Previously I had been happy at my job. I no longer feel valued. Previously I received a wonderful evaluation from former boss.


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    Minnesotamad12

    It’s not giving up. It’s leaving a toxic environment. Your boss is being completely unprofessional and comments like that have no place in a work environment.

    3 months ago

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      daveinpublic

      But I know what op is talking about. You have a job you like, everything’s good, and then one bad apple comes and you have to leave the place and almost feel like you’re allowing the place that you enjoyed to go downhill. But you could also blame it on the company, for not vetting the new boss enough, or not reaching out to you to see if the new boss is doing a good job.

      3 months ago

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    rocketsprocket21

    In this circumstance it sounds like it's time for you to move on. This is just the problematic trend in the current workforce.

    3 months ago

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      CandidTurnover

      i’m a little exhausted of seeing this comment at the top so much lately. it’s a pretty difficult time to just be up and quitting jobs

      3 months ago

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    Kithsander

    Get your resume in order. Start looking for a new job pronto. DO NOT go to HR. The purpose of HR is to protect the company, not help you.

    3 months ago

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      RubyPorto

      This is such an overused saying. In this case it's applicable, but I think it's worth explaining why going to HR would not be helpful for OP. >The purpose of HR is to protect the company, not help you. The purpose of HR (in this context) is primarily to protect the company *from employment lawsuits*. Which often means addressing management behavior that may expose the company to liability, which happens to help the employee who was being victimized by that behavior. In other words, while going to HR when your manager is being illegally shitty to you may be fruitful, going to HR when your manager is being legally shitty to you will probably not be. And in the US, there's a yawning chasm of shitty behavior before you get to illegal behavior. OP's manager is being shitty to them, but nothing in OP's post suggests that their manager is being illegally shitty to them, so going to HR will probably not be helpful to OP.

      3 months ago

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    LadyCLocus

    Sounds like it time to look for another job ASAP! Look at Usajobs, I know FEMA has positions open now. Some of them are only available for a short while.

    3 months ago

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      Automatic-Salad-1638

      Government isn’t that much better at sucking the life out of you. Too much paperwork, and it needs to be perfect. Management is usually pretty cliquey

      3 months ago

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    Leolily1221

    Hey OP Maybe you are doing such a good job that she's afraid you are going to eventually take her's...

    3 months ago

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    ModBotsMayBiteMyButt

    Your boss didn't know how to do her job. Even if you're doing a bad job, that's not how you let your employee know they should do better. It's always better to find a new job before leaving your current job though.

    3 months ago

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    miamaxglacier

    i had that comment in my current job - I do not know if you are fit for this job. I told my boss it was unprofessional in the spot. He looked at me and I continue to add there were more professional and constructive ways to voice his concerns of me not performing well. FFW few weeks, he said something else about me being too nice (for context I am a PM, new career for me although it's far from my first job) and again, told him that me smiling has nothing to do with my performance rather than his personal perception of what is or not acceptable and that I find it uncomfortable he criticizing my physique. Now my boss gives me a very constructive criticism - which I appreciate - and leave the childish lash and demoralizing feelings out of the equation. The key here is to be direct and say it.

    3 months ago

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    Desertbro

    Not a place I would stay. Your boss will find she can't find a replacement to do all the work you're doing at your salary - will end up hiring 3 people at higher rates. Remember to take credit for managing half the company during these times.

    3 months ago

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    shanethapain54

    Sorry that you're going through this, sounds horrible. I encountered similar situation with an old boss. Not sure how your company is but nepotism was rampant an old company. I saw divisions sabotage people with overwork which lead to the person quitting and their friend would come in. Sounds like you're being made the scapegoat. I was too but the bigger bosses liked me and I just got nasty back to my boss. I really felt like I had nothing to lose. As for quitting, you shouldn't feel bad if you're being treated like crap. I wish I quit but I had trouble finding jobs in other companies. Make sure you're ok to financially take care of yourself just in case and cover yourself. I always tried to keep everything in email and I even recorded some conversations just in case. Hopefully everything will work out for you! Rooting for you!

    3 months ago

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    AlexanderDenorius

    I have been working at the same company for nearly 6 years now. Under the old boss I was valued like a 9/10 - promotions, raises, asked for opinions/advice. Old boss left in 2019 and was replaced with a witch. Allthough I do my work exactly the same as before (or 90%) I am suddenly valued as a 4/10 - no more promotions, raises or talks. Only reason I was not fired is because I am much more competent than the people new boss hired. They are supposedly much better than me - yet without me they would run around like a bunch of headless chickens. A lot is sympathy I guess: One colleague for example was late to work 23 times within just 5 months (5-10 Minutes but still) - no consequences because new boss likes him..... The most rational explanation for this behavior I have though is the so called phenomenon of "Negative Selection" Apparently I am perceived as too competent and therefore a rival that has to be eliminated? At least this rationalization makes me feel better. Why am I still there? I planned to leave in 2020 - but then came Corona and since its now really hard to get a (good) job I reason that its better to have a sub standard job than no job. Will try to leave in 2022 - hope that by then the economy has either recovered - or crashed completely.

    3 months ago

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      JobMarketWoes

      This is my exact story. It's uncanny to read this - I'm sorry you're going through this as well. The feeling of being stuck is so crushing, especially now that everything/one says the job market's rebounding.

      3 months ago

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    4614065

    Record those moments when she says awful things. Time, date, witnesses. Save emails. You may need to use them against her.

    3 months ago

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    LaksonVell

    So you felt good and valued and now a comment from a person you barely know and barely knows you makes you want to quit ? In regards to your work, nothing changed. Keep doing the things you do. This new boss appears to be fresh as well, to say such snarky comments. If she doesn't like it she should be working on your personal improvement plan, not daydreaming about what ifs. Make yourself invaluable to the process. Make sure the company depends on your work. Then, at a peak moment, just quit. Big managers will scramble just to try to keep you. Then tell them you wouldn't have hired your new boss (preferably with her present lol)

    3 months ago

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    willfully_hopeful

    Wow. I’m so sorry. That was completely unacceptable and inappropriate. Start looking for another job and also stand up for yourself.

    3 months ago

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    tetsuo_exe

    whether your boss gets stuck with you or has to hire someone else, your boss is gonna have to suck an egg either way. nothing you can really do about that situation. just keep the checks coming and look for another job, actively.

    3 months ago

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    gergling

    "I want to quit. Is that giving up?" On what? A stressful work life? If so, yes, and you should. Modern company culture is much more throwaway than it used to be. I would explore your options first. Can you move to another team or department? Does your old manager still work there and can you work under them? Do you have any allies? Was your current manager somebody that you could say "this is not cool" and would they listen? I won't assume too much about the answers, but if you can't thrive in your current job and you've spent enough time there, it may be a good idea to look elsewhere. Especially since your current manager sounds like they are at risk of getting rid of you.

    3 months ago

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    darkstar1031

    Dude, you need to take the work experience and resume bullet points you've earned at this job and move on. Your current boss has told you to your face that you are the pariah. Right now, as you are reading this, you are being blamed for productivity shortfalls. Right or wrong, that's what is happening. Don't go down with the sinking ship. What you have described is what most companies look like 6 months or so before they go bankrupt and get sold off to a liquidation firm. Get out while the getting is still good. Don't use your current boss as a work reference.

    3 months ago

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    barleyqueen

    I don’t understand what you mean by “giving up.” Work is not supposed to be some horrible, stressful gauntlet where we subject ourselves to burnout and verbal abuse. If you are unhappy at work, yes it is acceptable to quit. For financial reasons, it may make sense to look for another job while you are still employed, but that is entirely up to you and what your situation is like.

    3 months ago

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      Dazagefa

      Give up as in quit. I dread going daily now. It is very stressful.

      3 months ago

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    Chai33LV

    Find a job first. Don't make that jump until you're comfortable with a position AND offer in place. The job market is wonky and unstable. Absolutely ensure that in your Exit Interview you fully explain the reasons of you're exit, namely this person. God luck.

    3 months ago

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      Desertbro

      I'd skip the exit interview - you're leaving for "personal reasons" and they have no business inquiring. You don't need a file of your quotes slamming the company.

      3 months ago

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    Key-Ad6337

    That really sucks. I guess it's time you looked for a place that actually values you. If you're close to your old boss and he/she is a confidential type fella, maybe you can reach out and ask for some feedback or offers

    3 months ago

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    Patapon80

    "That's fine, here's an opportunity to do just that. Good luck!" *slide resignation letter across the table Seems like an excellent opportunity for them to put up or shut up. If they really need you, it may be an excellent time to discuss pay:responsibilities ratio and get more money or have them specify your workload so you're not doing the work of 3-4 people. If they don't do either, it's a clear signal for you to move on.

    3 months ago

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    zmannz1984

    I am in a similar spot and i have a half day today. After my last meeting i am off to our main competitor’s office for a formal interview 😌

    3 months ago

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      Dazagefa

      Good luck!

      3 months ago

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    MentalHopscotch

    I am so sorry that you’re experiencing this - it is unprofessional and rude. I am in the same situation and it is overwhelming and hurtful. The more I try is the more difficult they make it. As exhausting as it is, i am looking for a new job and try to be mindful of my emotions since I know I am not the problem but staying in a toxic environment is not worth my sanity. I tell myself this is temporary. Some companies will make a situation worse to push you out so they don’t to pay a severance. Take care of yourself and I pray you find a great job that appreciate you!

    3 months ago

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    annoying_chocolate

    Sounds like you wouldn't have hired her as a boss either! I agree with other comment telling you to leave if you feel to. It is you boss failing to retain you. It is your right to work in an healthy environment and duty to yourself to give time to a place that won't crush your self esteem and drown you into depression

    3 months ago

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    Sewchelle3

    I'm sorry that you had this experience! It sounds like you've had more than your share on your plate. You can only do as much as you can do. I wonder if someone said something negative to new boss about their performance and new boss decided to roll that hurt downhill--being a bully. It isn't giving up if you quit. Start exploring other options and maybe a better opportunity will present itself.

    3 months ago

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    cbdudek

    This is really depressing to read. As someone who has been in management roles for 13 years of my almost 30 year career, I am appalled when I read stories like this. Have I inherited people that I would not have hired? Absolutely. Have I told them? No. What I do try to do is make them better by developing the areas that need developing. If they were poor communicators, I would develop performance metrics to help make them better communicators. If they lacked skills to do their job, I would send them to training or offer them training material in order for them to get the skills they needed. There are some really crappy managers out there, and its a shame you got one of them OP. I have to agree with others here in that its time to move on. If your manager is being up front with you like this, it means she is going to be replacing you in the next few months.

    3 months ago

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    juliusseizure

    I would find another job, but while continuing to work. Much easier to find a job when employed.

    3 months ago

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    Jgusdaddy

    Maybe it was like, “I wouldn’t have hired you at first but I would have been wrong I’m glad you’re here.” I had a boss tell me he didn’t think I could do it at first impression but I was proving him wrong. Then I quit a few days later because it was flippin telemarketing.

    3 months ago

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      Desertbro

      Telemarketing can drive anyone insane. It's basically high-pressure and mind-numbingly repetitive with mostly negative feedback from people you talk to, and being blocked from the others. I did it for 2.5 years *( 30 years ago )* \- night job, part-time, not competing with the go-getters at the company, brain turned off, ignored the commissions. I just needed some bucks. Of the couple-dozen projects I worked on, only two were low-stress. 1.) Disney books for pre-schoolers. Like shooting fish in a barrel - new parents cannot wait to indoctrinate their kids on Disney. 2.) $1/week life insurance. It was crap - but for people who could not get anything else, it was a chance and they wanted to hear about it.

      3 months ago

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    ad-free-user-special

    talk to HR. explain without too much complaining have your ducks in a row or find a new job but if you do leave, tell HR exactly why in your exit interview

    3 months ago

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    Javonte102

    What is a exit interview? are you guys in a union or something? Everything is at-will in the usa

    3 months ago

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      SuburbanSquare

      For the company, turnover is very expensive. Lots and f training/paperwork/lost productivity in office roles at least. An exit interview is HRs attempt to capture and end any recurring reasons people are quitting. If a known reason for turnover can’t be fixed, low wages, hard jobs, failing/merging company they usually skip it.

      3 months ago

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    seta_roja

    That was highly unprofessional and upsetting. Speak to HR, that you're worried. Explain the situation that you were working your ass and you don't get recognised but just the opposite by your manager, so there's a backstory for the future. It seems that the manager is hostile and toxic. Be polite and professional every time that you speak with every part involved. Then, ask for a raise. Is more than fair as you were overperforming, helping the company out of the hole. They will have to approve it or deny it. That sets paper trace for future as well. ...and look for a new job. It's important to plan your moves in advance, protect your position, and lay the strategy for the different steps and possible outcomes.

    3 months ago

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    Rymbeld

    it's not giving up at all. You aren't appreciated, and for some people, there's nothing you can do to change their opinion of you. I'm in a similar situation, in that I worked very hard for years and got little recognition and no opportunites. Then, one day, our plant manager (my boss' boss) called me to his office and told me I wasn't doing anything. It was a slap in the face. On that day I started making plans to leave my job. It's been a year but I finally turned in my resignation. It's important to feel valued and to recognize your worth. If you stay, this person is going to continue to beat you down, which might make it harder to get a new job because it might erode your confidence. Know that you are good at what you do and you deserve better.

    3 months ago

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    Shad27753

    dont stand for the abuse! you have options whether in vocal or actionary response ! vocal u can politely tell her off or be quiet and agree actionary u can try to work hard to appease her(never works and she might be playing this game in hopes you increase profit) or low key look for a new job good luck

    3 months ago

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    SuburbanSquare

    First, 17 people probably think the world of you right now instead of just 4. Second, having recently been drafted to manage a ton of ailing projects, I understand how meeting fatigue alone is enough to drive anyone mad. I feel like I have to work extra hours just to keep up with the basics. Having a shitty boss and so many people to be responsible for is definitely unsustainable. I would definitely start tracking every major achievement in a positive resume tone and drop a few applications a week to see what hits at least. With 17 direct reports you should be looking to director level stuff next I think. Spend the next few months trying to learn every in and out of the company, how the revenue is managed, building relationships outside your department and addressing corporate level issues despite your shitty boss. It will mean more effort for the next few months, but IMO, you want to hit 1yr and come out as valuable as possible. You are in a position where you are a threat to your boss. Be a threat to your boss by making yourself as valuable to people their level or +1. Don’t stay siloed or let them hide you buried in minutiae. Delegate more meetings if possible, block off hours for yourself and force people who are filling your meetings to fight for your time. It should be so freeing to know you have the company by the balls. You do. You are worth it even if they are keeping you down. - hired to oversee xxxx, role expanded to xxxx. - responsible for direction of x% of company revenue. - defined and enforced xxx process that allowed xxx to continue with xx% workforce reduction.

    3 months ago

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    NewMexicoJoe

    I had a similar situation. I chose to double down and outlast it. It was tough at times but I guessed the new jerk boss wouldn't last. He ended up getting transferred in a year.

    3 months ago

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    Yasuo11994

    Welcome to r/antiwork

    3 months ago

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    ddescartes0014

    I got a new manager last year. The two other people in my dept quit. I was left with three people’s worth of work which I did, and then when it came time for review I got a “meets expectations” which I wouldn’t get any extra pay raise. The work I was doing was totally unappreciated partly because no one else knew everything I did. Long story short she found petty things to write me up for before she fired me. You should start looking and get out while you can.

    3 months ago

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    GuiltEdge

    Great leadership skills your new boss has! /s

    3 months ago

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    HuffleMuggle

    I would leave and when you do tell your boss that the your prior boss was much more preferred and was a better manager. The number one reason people leave jobs that they otherwise like is due to bad management.

    3 months ago

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    jonw95

    Plan A. Can your previous boss help get you transferred to a different spot? Look to migrate to a new position/department/section. In the meantime save all of your money, no eating out, nothing but essential purchases. Plan B. Find a new job and use the money saved to tide you over till a new one comes and do Plan A at the same time. I wish you the best of luck!

    3 months ago

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    WashAutomatic1221

    This is a very toxic environment. Pull your boss aside and talk to her. If she is a good boss she should tell you what you are doing right and what you are doing bad. She should of never said what she said but dwell on it. Confront the problem don’t run from it.

    3 months ago

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    Rodic87

    Sounds like you will fall in the group of people who quit their boss, not the company/role. Update your linkedin and start looking.

    3 months ago

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