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I hate my job but i make too much money to leave.

6 months ago

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I (25f) have worked at a fast food restaurant for about 5 years now. I moved up to management fairly quickly and a little over a year ago I became the restaurant general manager. I hate it so much. I do a great job, i have a great store. I’ve broken sales records, get good grades on the inspections, and basically max out my bonus each month. The pay is great especially being young and single. But the stress is terrible. I do absolutely everything myself and i never have a day off to myself. I’ve developed an stomach ulcers from stress. I know health should be my top priority but i have no degrees or skills and so im worried this could be as good as it’s gonna get for me. I have a lot of bills and i basically take care of my parents and sister. Im so lost. I don’t want to trade one stressful place for another, especially if i already know everything about this job. Just any advice would be so competently appreciated.


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    PaulOshanter

    With that kind of experience you should definitely be sending your resume to other businesses and seeing if you can leverage for an offer for a less stressful desk job. Maybe you'd be taking less money but at least you'd have room to breathe and look at your options for growth, that could include going back to school on your own time or working on whatever skills you think you need.

    6 months ago

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      1234432112343

      At this point if i could just make enough to survive I’d be happy.

      6 months ago

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    optigon

    >I do absolutely everything myself and i never have a day off to myself. This is a common, early-career management problem. A big part of learning management is looking at your workload and seeing what you absolutely have to do yourself and what you can delegate to others. Talk with your employees about their career goals. Do they want management experience? If so, teach them to do very low-level, basic stuff that you can check and confirm, instead of doing everything yourself. Others are telling you to look elsewhere, and that may be the thing you have to do if there is nothing you can delegate, but if you don't find a strategy to do it here, you'll run into the same problem when you go to a new place. With respect to going to a new place, your track record is transferrable to a lot of places. Build out a resume, send it around, and just see what people will offer you. At worst, they will offer you too little and you can say, "No thanks, I make more than that already," or you'll get a better offer and you can leave.

    6 months ago

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      mag0ne

      This is great advice.

      6 months ago

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    Headset-Havoc

    > I have no degrees or skills and so im worried this could be as good as it’s gonna get for me. Well this just simply isn't true now is it? You're 25 and have worked your way up to managment. You've stated how your store hits sales records and gets good grades on inspections with you being the one doing the heavy lifting. These are marketable attributes, leverage them for another position. Keep your head up. You have drive and ambition, that will get you farther than you think.

    6 months ago

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    DarkWinterIsNow

    I used to work in a job that was high stress and high potential for death/bodily injury. At some point, you have to either: Learn to manage the stress so that it doesn’t give you ulcers, or, leave that job. Find one that will not pay as well, but won’t cause you to die at 30. Yes, the cut in pay sucks. But it beats dying at 30.

    6 months ago

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      bonesj72

      I worked a third shift job, and the schedule never agreed with me. No matter how much I slept (typically 11-12 hours a day) I couldn't shake being tired. Ultimately I feel asleep behind the wheel and got in a major vehicle accident, luckily I walked away with no major injuries (1 cracked rib) and no one else was hurt. I walked into the managers office the following Monday and said move me to first shift or I quit. Luckily, I work hard and was an employee who they wanted to keep. Within one month I was moved.

      6 months ago

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    Esseji

    All I will say is I'm in a similar position but one key difference is I **don't have** ***management*** **experience**. Please don't sell yourself short, acknowledge that you've got that and push that when applying to other positions. You may need to initially sacrifice some income (not knowing what sort of bonuses you get makes it hard to be any clearer here), but it may be worth it in the long run, not just for your health but also career prospects. I've reached a stage in my "career" where I don't think I can go any further. The natural line of progression in my office environment would be manager, and I certainly feel I could handle it - but I get the feeling the current manager won't leave for decades to come if he has any say in it. I can't search for another job which gives me more responsibility / more pay, because they're all managerial positions which (understandably) want managerial experience! Focus on the managerial experience and see what opportunities are available to you.

    6 months ago

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      katethegreat4

      This! I'm in the same position. Great paying job for my field, but no management experience and no real opportunities to gain management experience. OP could definitely leverage their management experience and move in to a less stressful environment

      6 months ago

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    bitetheboxer

    Post to r/personalfinance. Get yourself seriously financially set up, then work on your exit plan. Also recommend on YouTube The financial diet And a podcast She makes money moves. I realize that wasn't your question. My answer to your question is get other training, then get out. Also... https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/how-to-land-your-dream-job/ Listen to this and get started. Do all these things now and leave before burnout.

    6 months ago

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      beereng

      Is this podcast only for men? I’m sad it looks like a really good podcast!

      6 months ago

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    unfortunate_kiss

    I made a complete career change with similar skills to yours. I was an assistant manager at a fast food restaurant and I was making fairly good money for a 19-20 year old. I didn’t like it, though. I hated working closing and weekends and nights. So I took my experience, and lack of a degree, and applied it to a career that I absolutely love. I’ve been in banking for years now and the pay is better and I’m working myself up to be a branch manager within the next year or so. I used to be in your shoes, you can do this! There’s so much a general manager does that can apply to ANY job, I’m sure you could get hired anywhere within reason.

    6 months ago

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      1234432112343

      This is inspiring, thank you so much for the reply. Its put some things into prospective for me.

      6 months ago

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    Ozy-dead

    In this same position right now, but in IT. All projects are a dumpster fire, but they keep throwing money at it. At this point, there is 0 chance i can get the same or comparable $ offer elsewhere. Not sure what to do.

    6 months ago

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    youcancallmet

    I just had a conversation last night with a friend about how toxic and abusive the restaurant/hospitality industry is. I worked in hotels for 12 years. She worked in restaurants for several years. We both have left the industry recently and she just went back to working part-time banquet events and she's recalling how abusive it is. I work for a financial advisor now. His clients don't yell at me. Nobody tells me I'm stupid. I don't get stressed to tears. There's not petty drama with co-workers. I took a pay cut but it is so much healthier. With your experience, you should be able to find another job that's better for you.

    6 months ago

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    KindergartenDJ

    Something dumb: have you consider having a pet or/and house plants? Sometimes, things like this can make a change. You have to take care of yourself, in a way or another. And yes, if you can, ask for or hire a new staff. Stomach ulcers at 25 do not sound pretty, don't lose physical or mental health, might be more costly at the end.

    6 months ago

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    1234432112343

    I really appreciate all the comments everyone. I’ve read each one and am gonna start making a plan to either reduce my stress at work or get a less stressful job. This advice is invaluable to me. So thank you all, i appreciate it so much.

    6 months ago

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      phlipsyde

      Hey there, I was in a similar situation. What works for me might not work for you, but my $0.02. I was managing a fast food place at 24 and making more money than I thought I ever would, about 48k/year. The downside was the commute, constant hiring/training/firing, attached to my phone until 11pm every night, calling employees to find coverage when more than a two people called out sick, dealing with inventory issues when we got hit hard, you know the drill. I used my management experience to find a different management position on night shift (gaming) that meant when I clocked out, I was done. I was placed on graveyards, which I wasn't too thrilled about at first, but took it as my opportunity to go back to school. It's been three years in CC now and I just got my AA in engineering. I was accepted to a great university and between working the whole time and applying for every grant/scholarship available, I saved enough to get me through the next two years when I work on my BA. It is hard, but possible. If there is something you're really passionate about, who will find the energy. Good luck and stay strong!

      6 months ago

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    CapnKush_

    Been there. Just make the hard decision and leave. Make sure you have enough money for some down time, then take a less stressful job. I went from 90-110k a year to 45k a year. I was confused, sad and worried at first but then I realized no job is worth caring that much about. The money goals just became different and spending went down. It wasn’t a huge transition tbh. Plus now I get a tax return instead of paying 20k and owing another 1-2k. Honestly I would say if you have any other passions work on those. If you don’t think anything else will bring you money and joy, get a job that isn’t as demanding and start being honest with employers and yourself. I’ve made that mistake twice.

    6 months ago

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    Not_cousins

    I used to manage st Starbucks for several years. Same situation. Terrible stress, and that's what your paid for. Make a pivot to another type of work now. I left to do customer success in the tech world. Good luck. Management blows

    6 months ago

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    zzziltoid

    Try getting out of fast food. Management could transfer to some non-restaurant positions, and I know from my time in retail that most positions above store manager require a degree.

    6 months ago

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    brewtete3

    I recommend getting a worthy degree. I have seen firsthand what a general manager has to do to keep their fast food store operational. Being on-call 24/7 isn't something you want to keep doing. Health comes first.

    6 months ago

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    ChandlerCPrice

    I'd advise either getting them to give you extra help to reduce stress, or slowly build something on the side you enjoy doing/good at/fulfills you. When you get enough coming in on the side, do that full time. You can also get a job doing something else that fits the criteria above. Life is too short to not enjoy it.

    6 months ago

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    lurkerbelurking

    At some point you may be forced to choose between money and health. The former you can always make as long as you have health. The latter, not so much.

    6 months ago

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    Ga_x

    You might not have a degree but you definitely got skills and experience. That's all you need to get many jobs.

    6 months ago

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    Greenberets1040

    I've worked fast food too, maybe a bit longer but I'm only 21, I started young, my advice, if you hate it, leave, you're still young, don't do it for the money, do it for more knowledge

    6 months ago

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    slimjosh

    You have to delegate more, you know the work and now have to train a few people to take on some of those responsibilities. Create incentives at your location to motivate your staff.

    6 months ago

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    monkeytorture

    >but i have no degrees or skills first off that skills part is tremendously false, from your description alone. But it doesn't sound like you have much of a plan, at least from your post. What do you want to do? If you would automatically be given any job you chose, do you at least know the field? I wouldn't hire someone how came to me for a job if they were just kind of looking for a paycheck or something to do. I would hire someone who knew and loved the industry / company and was thirsty for a chance for a particular role. If you want to stay in fast food, you've accomplished so much you should have your pick on where to go. If you want out of fast food, take all of those huge accomplishments you've mentioned and make them the highlight of your resume, cover and interview. They are the results of your work ethic, ability, knowledge and talent. The kind of people who talk down about fast food work are usually just bitter people trying to make themselves feel better about whatever. Most people in the world are aware more is expected of you guys. You're forced to work grueling hours, under intense conditions for less than justified pay and benefits. Personally I can see how a former fast food worker would translate into some jobs better than a career office worker. But that also depends on what you want to do. Last thing I'll say is that looking for a job while having a job is much more ideal than hunting when you don't. Crass but somebody explained it to me as, go out to a bar single and looking and nobody will give you the time of day. Wear a wedding ring and they're throwing themselves at you. I've been in similar positions before, have the ulcers to speak for it, but worked on reframing my perspective. I sought out the positives (pay, benefits, job security) while letting everything else roll off my back. Not paying attention to the drama, not stressing because somebody else refused to do what they said they were going to, not taking the entire dept's output on my shoulders. This is not possible in some jobs, I get it, and your health should be paramount. I really hope you find your path and success there will be entirely possible, I am 100% certain, if you realize how much you bring to the table

    6 months ago

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    dilqncho

    Use the money you're making to survive and save while getting a degree/ certification. Then switch.

    6 months ago

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    hardheaded62

    How much $$ you are making is relative (now you have experience) you use that to your advantage - start the search

    6 months ago

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    Nicktheestick

    I've been in a similar situation to you in terms of age and rapid rise in management responsibility. I am a nursing home administrator and we are open 24/7. Because of this I am always on call and recieve them through the night.. The stress was crippling, but the money was more than most people will ever make. I spent so much time trying to figure out a way to escape to another career setting. One day I decided rather than run away, how can I improve my current situation? You work stressful jobs long enough and you eventually build coping mechanisms to reduce that stress. You also learn how to displace some of your responsibility on your managers. Delegation is so important when you are overwhelmed as the highest in the onsite chain of command. Higher paying jobs often come with higher stress levels. Obviously if the job is truly linked to your health issues I completely understand. Has a doctor been the one to say your ulcer is induced by stress? Have you tried any stress reduction techniques? Have you talked to your boss about how you're feeling? Let him know you need a no contact vacation?

    6 months ago

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    lastlifonti

    What’s important, health or wealth?

    6 months ago

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    TheWings977

    You literally have management experience which is a great skill. Look for another job and pursue a degree in business management or Accounting/Finance. Start at a local CC and tell prospective employers that you're in school. You have a great work ethic. Good luck.

    6 months ago

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    Userur

    Mental health is more important than money. Like others stated, you have great experience you can pretty much take anywhere. And even if you decide to take a job that pays less and is less stressful, you can always do doordash or ubereats on the side. Actually, I know one guy that does uber full time and makes more than when he ran a large bar and grill restaurant.

    6 months ago

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    madmoneymcgee

    If you're an absolute rock star in terms of beating metrics then you have a good footing to either move into a corporate office at your company where you don't have to work restaurant hours as much. Or pick up any other sort of sales job since you show you can beat expectations. You might take a cut at first but can make it back up soonish.

    6 months ago

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    Western-Ordinary

    If I were you, I'd look at opportunities in healthcare or universities, if you have any near you. I work for a large hospital and your experience would be extremely valuable and we are always looking for qualified candidates. You might not be able to start as a supervisor, but with your experience I bet you'd be able to move up quickly. Excellent benefits and a set schedule would be two of the advantages I can think of off the top of my head. And many hospitals are unionized so the pay is usually good. Good luck to you!!

    6 months ago

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    JallinC

    Most employers equate experience with education. If you're not confident in that, register for at least 1 class online. Include in your resume, "currently working toward [degree; Hospitality, Management, whatever your goal might be] @ [college]." Good luck!

    6 months ago

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    KeatonTS

    You have managerial experience. Even for food service that's more than enough for you to ditch that and get even better pay. Since not only are you just a manager, but a general manager You could probably just go straight to retail as a Manager, like target for example, if youve gone to college especially and you can make at least 40k a year or get an office job. It would be hard to imagine anyone making too much money to leave food service. Or you can try working at a different restaurant Don't just quit though. Look for another job. Apply and interview when you can. Then leave once you have something prepared. I'm sure as a general manager you at least accrue PTO? I would recommend you use that for peace of mind and when you're expecting an interview.

    6 months ago

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    mzwfan

    If you have experience with meeting goals as a well run restaurant, can you jump off of those skills? Train new managers or employees? Audit restaurants internally for your company (or other fast food companies). Can you become a district or regional manager, which takes you out of the daily havoc nitty gritty details and you can focus on the bigger picture? If you are a good manager, it means you know how to hit metrics and that is what they look for to promote upward into the corporate level. As for education, if they offer tuition reimbursement, start working toward your BS degree... where it may come in most handy is as a checkmark to access higher level work. It sounds like you've got the skills and know how. Good luck and good for you for recognizing that this is not good for your health and unsustainable for your quality of life.

    6 months ago

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    Sillysheila

    Keep your job, if you have responsibilities to your sister and parents, but I suggest looking for less stressful management gigs. I wouldn't worry about finding another job; management is in huge demand from the things I've seen looking for jobs. Not a lot of people have management experience. Management is tough. At my last job, I worked at a government call centre and there were these middle-management people that helped those on the phones called "team leaders". They generally led a small team or department, not the entire floor and most of them seemed to have good stress levels and were happier than other larger division managers I've seen. They also got to have more interpersonal relationships with us because there's less of us to manage. I was looking at a team lead position I might actually be qualified for because I have 3-5 years of experience in the customer service field (it wasn't very high-up management) and even that was a significant pay-rise to what I've gotten in the past; on average it seemed team leaders got 60,000-80,000 a year (in Australian dollars mind you). I don't know what you're making at Mcdonalds, but you could give that a go. You could also maybe give HR/Talent Acquisition a go. It's a cushier less stressful office job. I have heard that you can easily cross over to that from a lot of different backgrounds and majors especially if you have had supervisory experience, but it depends on the company. My sister has a bunch of different degrees ranging from psychology and international business. I don't think she really knew what she wanted to do, but through a contact and a lot of her senior customer service experience she became involved in HR and she's really happy there.

    6 months ago

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      CapnKush_

      I know it sounds selfish but OP had one body and mind. Living and sacrificing your health and happiness for family members isn’t a good thing. No one should have to be forced or feel stuck because other grown people need help.

      6 months ago

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    JessicaJones2

    > i never have a day off to myself You *have* to make some time for yourself. Even if it's just to sleep in or go for a walk. Can you talk with your boss/es to explain your situation? They can either say "don't care" or "let's work together to make your time off, time off". > i basically take care of my parents and sister Talk to them. Explain what's happening to you and that the financial burden is getting to you, big time. Be it that they need to check their expenses so that you contribute less, or if your anyone can get a part-time or full-time job, something needs to change. You won't be helping them if you're burnout and depressed in a month. And like someone else mentioned, perhaps finding someone who you can delegate to at work could also help decrease your responsibilities so that the actual job isn't so stressful. I know it's not easy, especially with the finances pressuring you, but you have to think about your health, OP. Take care as best you can.

    6 months ago

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    Tv_tropes

    Two quick questions, What is your educational background? And what do you picture as a “dream job”? If you don’t have a dream job, can you elaborate on what kind of change you’re looking for?

    6 months ago

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    fraughtgamerpro

    Sounds like you need to hire more employees and get some responsibilities off your shoulders. When I was a manager at a fast food restaurant, the only time I would be super stressed would be when we were short of employees and I would end up taking more responsibilities like helping out at the register or the kitchen etc. a general manager is supposed to sit in the office and handle paper work and reports from their assistant managers.

    6 months ago

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    danicolorado10

    Have you thought about asking for assistance from management? In the form of assistant managers and whatnot? Since you have an excellent track record, you might get some leeway in asking for extra help. I understand your conundrum but no job, no matter how much money is worth sacrificing your health. I'd rather be in debt at a happy place of work then financial freedom but struggling mentally/physically because of that work. And as you get older, it only gets worse to recover from such health risks.

    6 months ago

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    The_Question757

    I was in the same situation as you. My stress was more physically related until eventually my body gave out. After rehab i had to change careers and now i'm in something that though requires a lot of multi tasking I'm in a more positive work environment. I totally understand not wanting to lose that kind of money but holy fuck i'd be lying if I said on a personal level and in my soul I feel like i'm in a much better place. You don't realize the toxicity on both your mind and body in certain fields and the service industry is definitely one of them. Being out of that for years now made me realize just how much insane bullshit i was forced to deal with.

    6 months ago

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    theworldisnotquiet

    My advice to you would be to save up as much as possible and try and look for something else in the restaurant industry. If you build up your savings then at least you'll have the option to walk if things become unbearable. I would also try and delegate more at work. Try and train up some people you trust so you have help.

    6 months ago

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    Wco39MJY

    Hi first please take care of your health. Ulcers are curable and stress is manageable. Based on your description you have many skills that are directly transferable to other jobs. But I agree with some earlier comments the stress will follow if you don't improve your ability to delegate. Accept that others will not do it exactly as you would but establish what is good enough and be at peace with it. Ultimately managing is about people. Get some things off your plate. Take your breaks and lunch the place will not fall apart if you do. learn to meditate or listen to music anything that gives you some stress relief during the day. Take time in your off hours for yourself. It's not selfish it is necessary. Take care of

    6 months ago

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    skelicorn

    I work in retail and was promoted to a Store Manager in my 20s as well. I’m almost 40 now and guess what? I’m still a Store Manager and I hate it. I’ve always hated it. I tried to move beyond and SM position, but was laid off 6 months into my promotion. I never made any attempts to transition my career after that because the money was “too good”. Now I totally regret that because I literally am stuck. I have 2 kids now who depend on me, I’m a single parent, and I literally can’t make less money now because of my current expenses with my children. Not to mention the fact that as a woman, we just aren’t as employable after 40. Sad but true. Anyways, I wish that I had taken a leap of faith in my 20s and had established myself in a different career path. I feel like folks in the service and retail industries are treated like we have no other applicable skills. We do! You can leverage these skills and find something different that will make you less miserable. Over time, you’ll start making good money again. Do yourself a favor and just rip the bandaid off.

    6 months ago

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      1234432112343

      Thank you for the advice. I have much to consider and this is a really great point of view. I appreciate it.

      6 months ago

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    jrise25

    I've been in this spot before, honestly, you need to do what is best for you. I left a fun job for one that was a little less pay and lots less stress, I've found more time for myself and couldn't be happier.

    6 months ago

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    Numerous-Mousse-8058

    You might not have a degree, but you have amazing skills, from the achievements you've described. Your health is really important, but leaving this job right now might not be the right decision, due to the pandemic and so many people looking for jobs in your industry. Maybe you could reach out to the owner and explain that you could use a little more help, or better help? Your assistant manager(s) should be shouldering some of your burdens. I wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide.

    6 months ago

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    mommaa4444

    Maybe see if they offer any management training courses or would help with paying for more schooling? If not maybe enrol and take some courses independently?

    6 months ago

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    njord_201

    Seeing that you're compensated well for your position as well as receive bonuses it may be a good idea to talk to your employer and explain your situation, especially that you have dependents. I find that employers that offer such incentives usually are willing to work with high-performing employees rather than letting them go for the slightest inconvenience (which your situation absolutely isn't, an inconvenience that is). Since you already take on so much I'm just assuming that asking for help may not be something that's natural to you. Overall, just explore what possible with your employer first before anything, at best you get the result you desired, at worst your belief that your need to change careers/employer is legitimately confirmed.

    6 months ago

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    CouchSniper

    Higher paying jobs are always going to be associated with more stress. Your personal wellbeing especially being in your mid 20's is more important than making a bunch of cash. If you ride it out in your current job eventually you'll burn out and the company might look to replace you anyways. Get your resume out there, stay confident, and maybe you'll find something with a better work life balance without taking too much of a hit.

    6 months ago

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    MettaWorldWarTwo

    You mentioned that you're taking care of your parents and sister. I've been in similar situations with my family and the thing that caused the most stress for me wasn't my work but the sense of not having any agency. You have options, you may not like them and they will cause pain in the short term but write up your options and every day that you continue to go to work, and support your family read through them. Then go to work, take care of your parents/sister, etc but make the choice to do so. You make a choice every day to keep doing what you're doing. You need to turn that from a passive choice to an active one. Then, once you're practiced at making the active choice, you can make a different one. Give yourself permission to choose first. You have agency and control over the situation but it's a muscle you need to develop.

    6 months ago

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    jayjay91111

    Skills and experience especially a leadership role such a young age its somewhat priceless. Apply to hundreds of jobs and see whats out there. Keep in mind it takes awhile to find what you like and you can compare what you are applying for and what you have now along the way. Ideas and solutions come to you as you are going through the process.

    6 months ago

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    misterwiser34

    @OP have you thought about changing roles within the organization? Usually someone who hits all of the goals you're stating you achieve is a shoe in for a regional role or will be highly considered for another role (although you may have to move). Recommend a job that centers around soft skills (general corp management, sales etc) vs. More technical as these usually are considered more desirable as an internal vs external simply because less time to train, already understand the culture etc. Youve already more than proven you can handle multiple tasks, manage an operating budget etc. I'd recommend also hiring someone to revamp your resume to help you ask around. Most fast food chains or franchisees love stealing "successful" GMs to show off the brand, etc. Talk to your manager- stay positive but lay out a plan to "build" your expertise around multiple functions that are different from what you do currently so you can be a bigger asset to "company."

    6 months ago

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    redvelvet2188

    Hey! I'm 25 F and experiencing the same as you, different industry though. Pay is really good and has been even higher during the pandemic but I'm stressed, don't have time to enjoy my evenings and weekends, and the hours suck for an "office" job. Sending positive energy your way. I'm sure I'm repeating others but start working on that resume your skills are transferrable. Maybe you can move into sales or management in a different industry.

    6 months ago

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      1234432112343

      Im so glad to hear im not alone in this type situation. Good luck to you!!

      6 months ago

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    ITSuperstar

    I have been offered jobs that pays between $15k to $30k per month. They were 100% travel, with high burnout rates and required a contract that if you didn't fulfill could be very expensive for you. Ultimately it wasn't worth it. I make way less these days but it's laid back and the schedule is flexible, very family friendly. What's important is finding something that lets you actually live your life while you have it...

    6 months ago

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    flyingredt

    I have a degree and worked hard to get where I'm at and I'm in the same boat. I have an office job and make good money. But our company is project based so we all work around the clock because of salary. Never get time off, always a stressful deadline looming, tons of ambiguity and chaos, it's a miracle we make any of our deadlines and it's usually because my team stays up until midnight every day making sure the work gets completed. I don't know where these "comfy desk jobs" exist but I'd like one. Maybe the DMV?

    6 months ago

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    RedditUser46754

    If you are so good that you're setting records, then no wonder you're so stressed out. Why not take it down a notch every now and then? Life is a marathon--you can't expect to sprint all the time. If you get canned when you don't set another record quarter, hey, at least your resume will look spectacular. Win-win!

    6 months ago

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      RedditUser46754

      Sorry... "advice"... okay what you wanna do is delegate. I see this all the time with new managers transitioning from team lead to manager or director. They're still in worker-bee mode, AND trying to manage the team who's supposed to be doing the work. I'll bet your direct reports love you--you're doing all the work! Delegate more to them. Groom them. Give them the opportunity to advance. Two. Set boundaries. Like me for example, I can respond immediately to every single email, so I set up specific times throughout the day, depending on meetings, to check my emails. Otherwise I'd have a constant barrage of distractions coming in, and get nothing done. If it's urgent, they can IM, text, or call me. Now I don't know Jack about the restaurant biz. but I'm sure you can find some stressful distractions that you can consolidate to a more structured content. Three. Don't be so hard on yourself. You might feel like you're drowning, but you might just be treading water. If you let a few corners slip, it's not the end of the world. The things YOU think are important might not actually be that important to everyone else, so don't stress about it so much. I don't know, maybe you think the napkins need to be folded like origami swans, but when was the last time you read about nicely folded napkins in a restaurant review? Nobody cares about that, so don't stress about it. Something like that. The point is, you're going to have to rob Peter to pay Paul--if you want more quality of life then the quality of work is going to go down, but it's up to you to figure out where those resources won't be missed. Ask around your staff. See if they notice anything that seems convoluted or unnecessary. Maybe they will have a better way of doing things. They're in the trenches, and I'm sure SOMEBODY will have ideas that they want to share. People like to be heard. Might take some coaxing, but I'd encourage the heck out of that.

      6 months ago

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    OTTMangos

    As someone who has worked in fast food and still in high volume type restaurants, I feel you. I'm 38F. I don't have advice because I'm in a similar boat. I could work 60 70 a week and my boss wouldn't notice or care. I send out my resume constantly. I interviewed recently and his standards were 50 to 55 hours a week. I turned down the job. I can't understand why restaurants expected managers to work so many hours. I just wanted to let you know you aren't the only one.

    6 months ago

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      1234432112343

      Thank you! Im so glad i am not alone. I wish you all the best!

      6 months ago

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    8readyBo1

    I'd say if you have enough of a financial leeway take a week off every now and again if possible. Ik this has probably been said 1000 times but I'm too young to aquire that sort of job. Sorry if it's not very useful

    6 months ago

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      1234432112343

      I appreciate the reply thank you!

      6 months ago

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    FullMoonBotanical

    There are financial groups on reddit that are amazing. They will get you to financial freedom. It usually means a few years of pretty strict unrelenting savings etc...but there are a lot of positive sucess stories. It works better than slaving for 20 years without a plan or with just a very conventional plan.

    6 months ago

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    grizzlies83

    Here’s some free advice. I worked for the same company for 20 years. I received promotions to senior management. The pay was good, the benefits were decent. I hated the job but it was low stress, challenging but not overly difficult. I should have quit years ago and I knew it. I didn’t because I made decent money, was comfortable, and liked the people I worked with. BIG MISTAKE! I got laid off along with the entire team I managed. My advice is to get out and find something you like to do, even if it’s for a little less. I found a new job. The pay is a little lower but my mental state is so much better. It isn’t worth being miserable. Besides, while you may show loyalty to the company there is no such thing anymore as company loyalty to employees. It’s also much harder to find a job when you are out of work and don’t have any bargaining power. Figure out what makes you happy and get out while you are employed. Here’s another tip. If you think you need training take the time to get it now so that you have those skills when you start looking for a job. Good luck!

    6 months ago

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    bukowskisbabushka

    You're not alone. I'm in a similar position, except the feedback I'm getting is that I'm not good at my job. It's so disheartening to be bad at a job you hate and not feeling able to leave because the pay and insurance is the amount you need. I've applied elsewhere with no bites so far. I honestly don't want to be a manager anymore, after 15 years of managing I have finally realized that it's not for me. I'm in industrial food service.

    6 months ago

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      1234432112343

      It sucks hating it but feeling like you need it at the same time.

      6 months ago

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    MuForceShoelace

    No degrees or skills except the fact you are a sales record breaking manager at a restaurant at the age of 25.

    6 months ago

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      dream-in-heliotrope

      Yes, this is really impressive, OP! You were promoted to a management position swiftly. You have an incredible work ethic! I agree w others that in the short term in your current position, challenge yourself to delegate your responsibility to others and perhaps identify and train potential shift managers & your replacement. I think you could draft a killer resume with quantifiable markers of your success in sales, as a manager, et cetera. Your skill sets translate to a myriad of roles: sales, customer service, administrative assistant + reception, Human Resources (HR) in businesses or government or school districts, check out your local/regional utilities companies as I think your work ethic and experience and loyalty (5 yrs!) will be valued by corporate culture. What is your ideal environment? What companies, agencies, industries are located near you? Start reading their websites and check their job postings on a weekly basis. Set up your LinkedIn profile and start reaching out to people at those companies that interest you. Express your interest in working there and ask what positions they have that might be a good fit. Best of luck, OP! Great opportunities await:)

      6 months ago

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    SephoraRothschild

    Unless you are making six figures, there is zero reason to be staying in a job you hate. Why are you supporting your parents and sibling at 25? It's time to leave the nest and support *yourse* so you can build *your own* life, not supplement or support theirs.

    6 months ago

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      1234432112343

      My parents are both very ill so i have no choice in that matter. I moved out at 18 but they got so sick i had to move them in with me. It was hard, both of them at once. My sister does what she can to help, she just hasn’t had the opportunity to move up yet and make real money.

      6 months ago

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    LadyDi_08

    I recently started working in insurance & financial services, specializing in retirement plans, insurance and mortgages. And you can do it from home and for work yourself with great training. Working on becoming a licensed agent now. Always another option out there... Be happy to share info if wanted

    6 months ago

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    triviumfan4ever93

    Try investing in the stock market, worked wonders for me this year lol

    6 months ago

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    tpbrunner262

    Plan for your option!

    6 months ago

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      tpbrunner262

      Since you work retail hours. You MUST find a way to release/mitigate stress - run, swim, bike, hike, walk, lift, yoga. Something that is physically active.

      6 months ago

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    CatelynsCorpse

    DELEGATE. DELEGATE. DELEGATE. Start passing some of the "everything" that you do yourself on to other people that you trust. This is VITAL or else you'll go nuts. At this point, this is all you can control, so do it. You may come to realize that your job isn't as crazy as you thought, or you may come to realize that it's still crazy and your employees are idiots and you need to leave. Also, you may not have a degree but you DO have skills. Do not sell yourself short! The fact that you have managerial experience is going to look hella good on a resume. You can either apply for retail managerial jobs at stores with less insane hours, or possibly a job as an Office Manager. The fact of the matter is that your managerial experience is going to benefit you, period.

    6 months ago

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    glasses_the_loc

    Buy GME. Retire this year. This is the way.

    6 months ago

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    KENTUCKY-MEAT-SHOWER

    Can you take out a loan to buy the restaurant? Make some other sucker do your job.

    6 months ago

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    lobsterpantalones

    What kinda money we talking about? If you’re in the 50-60k range you can find another management position. Definitely apply and use your offers as leverage from your current employer for better pay/hours. You can definitely find another job with your skill set, you’ve learned more and have more experience than you think you do.

    6 months ago

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    partaylikearussian

    Yeah, I hear this. I have a well paid role in project management, but it destroys my soul. I’m also freelancing on the side making an average salary for my country, but I can’t bring myself to make the switch and lose like 65% of my income or worse.

    6 months ago

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    ahhogue

    Can't take that money to the grave.

    6 months ago

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    reincarnateme

    Pay down your debts as fast as you can. Then start sending out your resume.

    6 months ago

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    Sweet_T913

    Your young and single, live within your means and leave.

    6 months ago

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    Zakulon

    Can you hire an assistant? You don’t need to do Everything yourself if it’s giving you ulcers.

    6 months ago

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    ayotechnology

    Health>Time>Excess money. Making bank means nothing if you’re unhealthy or don’t have time to enjoy it.

    6 months ago

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    Ciaobello10

    Not to know your business, then again we are all anonymous here but how much do you make now with this restaurant job? You may have more options than you think. I’ll help look for jobs close to your pay.

    6 months ago

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    jpc273

    Save up and leave!

    6 months ago

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    coffeeismomlife

    You might look at grocery stores. I worked in the deli for several years and my management loved hiring restaurant managers for management. Money was actually better than what I am making now working in an office. I worked for one with a union so lots of great benefits including no mandatory overtime, health insurance was sooo cheap, and as a manager I had a decent say in my schedule. It never hurts to look.

    6 months ago

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    WrapCorrect

    how much money is it?

    6 months ago

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    israfilled

    Could you possibly hire someone to take some of the load off? I was a part-time assistant once. I did the excel sheets, ordered supplies, answered the phone and all the other basic, manual stuff so my boss could focus on HR and such.

    6 months ago

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    watcherx18

    The easy answer, at least for me, would be to leave and find something less stressful. I had to leave a job last year because it was taking a toll on me mentally where I was sleeping and working. But of course, there are a million and one more answers out there, some will say stay and some will say leave. Just gotta find the right one for you.

    6 months ago

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    ThePancakeJedi

    This isnt about the job. Its about you. Make the change or die on the hill. Its your life.

    6 months ago

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    GothicPlate

    Gather enough FU money and quit, or just keep applying to other roles as a manager or regular employee. Degrees overrated, you should be fine if you keep applying to roles that you can be visualizing yourself doing :) Mentioning that you have plenty of managerial experience ought to put you in a good light for recruiters/employers. Any particular industries that interest you? Marketing or any creative fields for instance? Ought to be around 35k - 40k + based on your EXP

    6 months ago

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    After_Owl3277

    You have Skills!! Tangible skills! Unlike us recent college grads

    6 months ago

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    oscilocybin

    Just my own experience, but I went from working food industry for 2 years before I decided to go back to school for electrical engineering. Worked in food/coffee on and off during the 4 years it took me to get my degree. It was difficult, but now that I’ve been in my first engineering job for a month, the 4 years feels like such a small sacrifice. At my firm there are a variety of different projects and I get assigned work based on my skills and interests. In food service, the responsibilities are the same every day, regardless of your performance. There is very little reward for attention to detail and aptitude, and there is a fairly low achievement ceiling. Also, the benefits offered in my new role far exceed the benefits I was offered in food service. Not only does your pay go up, but the cost of things like health insurance goes way down. Our situations are very different. It was easier for me because I didn’t have anyone but myself to take care of. But, from your post it’s evident that you’re a hard worker with talent, intellect, and drive. It is so rewarding to have those assets valued and compensated. There’s my 2 cents. Good luck!

    6 months ago

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    FoxyFreckles1989

    You do have an *incredible* skill, and that’s being the GM of a fast paced restaurant that gets excellent scores/grades and produces a high profit! You can and should submit your resume to all sorts of different businesses, with that experience. If nothing else, you could move from fast food to a sit down restaurant. Although, I will say that that isn’t guaranteed to be any less stressful. I worked in the restaurant industry for over 10 years, and I completely empathize with your position. As far as doing everything yourself goes, learn to delegate! Do you have employees interested in management? Team leads? Assistant managers? Start teaching employees that are up to the responsibility and capable of more work to do low level tasks, and lessen your own work load! You sound like an excellent manager, but you shouldn’t be a door mat, girl. You’re going places, and where you end up can be literally wherever you want it to be.

    6 months ago

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    loveashgrey

    Can you try delegating more? To be frank, part of being a good manager is realizing your limitations and relying on your team. You shouldn’t be doing everything yourself, and you should be able to take a vacation and have someone cover you while you are out. It sounds like these problems will still exist even if you did find a similar job with similar pay.

    6 months ago

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    StandardReporter9

    Imo, you should leave. I got diagnosed with ulcerative colitis directly after leaving a 6 figure gig because of the stress i was under. I make half of what i used to make and am far more content. The stress is not worth it it will ruin your health and at some point the damage will be irreversible

    6 months ago

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    lovelychef87

    I hate my job the pay is decent it's soooo f**kong boring my brain has to go to different place.

    6 months ago

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    theetaxmancometh

    You probably have a lot more skills than you realize. Also work experience trumps a degree.

    6 months ago

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    Dualyeti

    I hated it as well, I now am in a job where I finish at 3pm and take zero work home. I HIGHLY suggest you leave, it's not for everyone and it wasn't for me. I was in your position but I was 24 and working in a high traffic London gastro-pub, I was getting bank but had to leave because like you said, you're constantly working. My life now is so chilled out and I'm only earning a little less, but I would have happily taken a 50% cut and left. It was my first ever job and I was too scared to move jobs at the time. Thankfully I didn't become a GM, but I was in the process of becoming one shadowing a GM at the time. If I didn't change career, I'd probably still be doing it and having zero free time thinking about stock, events, FoH staff, management, meeting, mystery guests. *Fuck* that noise.

    6 months ago

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    Arrow_Flash626

    My cousin works in the restaurant business and works crazy amounts of hours. He also has a college degree and has difficulty getting a job outside of the restaurant business. I say get out as quickly as you can. It is a stressful work environment and honestly money doesnt equal happiness. I would be much happier making less money and being able to see my family more

    6 months ago

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    Whyme-__-

    You are golden handcuffed to the life so that you can pay for stuff and afford things! Ask yourself Would it make you happier if you earned less but did what you loved? Would it make your health feel better if you looked into starting something of your own since you are so good at your current job? 25 is not the age to take so much stress, 25 is the age to take risk so that you can get the benefits later. Why develop stomach ulcers while making money for some restaurant owner? Why not get those by doing something for yourself? Ask your self these questions and the answers which come from that will define your future!

    6 months ago

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      Sickofitsickofitall

      For me I'd rather just keep saving and retire early rather than quit get stuck in a shit paying but low stress job where I have to work until I'm 60+ years old. I don't have ulcers, but I have twitching eyelids, a feeling of a lump in my throat, and rib pain. Strictly from stress.

      6 months ago

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    shireengrune

    You say > I do a great job, i have a great store. I’ve broken sales records, get good grades on the inspections, and basically max out my bonus each month. But then > i have no ... skills I feel like you need to reframe how you look at your own capacities.

    6 months ago

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    OhSnapditz

    This is long but so worth reading until the end. I started in the clerical business in 1989 working seasonal temp as a data entry operator. I didn't have a college degree only a hs diploma. I only had home computer experience some business school which taught me how to use a manuel typewriter so they hired me but I struggled with the production amount always falling short of the requirements. So I decided to buy a adding machine and practiced my 10 key skills. During off season I got on as bank processor. That was horrible. It was 3rd shift and the supervisor hated her job because some higher up guy promised to move her to a day shift (they had a thing) so she was grouchy and moody until he came for visits. She picked on my 10 key skills asking how I even got the job being so slow. So I got out my same adding machine and practiced. I got really good and that's when I found out about 3rd shift and holidays. I would have to work on the night of the holidays and be off the next day. She never mentioned that when I was hired. So Thanksgiving day I left my family to go to work. While driving on an 4 lane highway I mentally feel asleep driving. The flash of red brake lights woke me up in time to slam on my breaks I was spinning and almost hit a wall when I stopped I was facing the opposite direction. I went on to work and she said YOU ARE LATE. When my lunch break came at 2am I told her I would not be coming back. She never got to move to another shift as far as I know. Got tired of working only seasonal. 1990 With the skills from those jobs I got a civilian job on an army base. Best place to work for, planned to retire from there but cut backs happened after 2 yrs. So got hired on permanent in 1995 at the first state job doing Data Entry with benefits and all the State employee job Perks. Worked there 3 years and literally would get sick headaches just driving by on my days off. The supervisor there told me when asked if I could take my child to the doctor No...I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE I HAD KIDS. Needless to say I left there. I put in for a job thru Monster and got a call. 1998 2nd best job ever using the same skills but this time making more money than I have ever made in the field. I was planning on retiring from there. Boss was awesome, coworker is still my best friend, employee appreciation every month. Life was Grand. The lady who hired me told me that she knew from my resume that I was fudging on parts of the resume. I thought I was gone for sure. But instead she signed me up for some company paid Microsoft Office classes to get me up to speed. They sent me to another state to be trained everything. Then 911 hit. Got let go because the insurance company I worked for insured hundreds of people who was in the buildings in NY. Then after 3 or 4 part time jobs a friend and my kids suggested driving a school bus. I am a school bus driver. Need I say more. Talk about stress. Been on the job for 14 years and make $20 an hour. The same amount of the 2 best jobs before and just got offered a clerical job with the State wanting to offer me less than the bus job. I refuse and was told I could request a higher salary. I did that and was then told me to send an extensive resume. The first one only went back 10 years. When I sent the extensive one it included all of my previous clerical work and they are now going to pay me $35,000 a year starting in April. So you are young and already have experience to get any job you want just about. Stop selling yourself short . You've got to many years left to live. Marriage,kids, a whole other life. Don't be like me at 57 and suffer through life letting your fear steal your life. You would be a valuable asset to any company that hires you. It's all about that person who will give you a chance. Step out on faith and make that change. You will be so much better and healthier. There are still people who believe that experience is so much more than a college degree.

    6 months ago

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    way-haute-there

    For the first 20 years of my career I dealt with the same issues you're dealing with now in the same line of work and felt the same way about it. Then after two decades of all work and no life I bit the bullet and made a career change: From Food Service to Accounting. It was a step back at first but I soon got a good footing and it's been smooth sailing since. I love my new career and even after 25 years I'm still not thinking of retiring. You're young and can handle the stress. Something better will come along and with all you do now, you'll be oh so qualified to step into it. Life does get better if you don't let the struggle get the best of you. And you will have earned it.

    6 months ago

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    BadBossesfromHell

    Your mental health is first. Maybe be happy with your accomplishments at this point. They help you to get your next job, which can hopefully be a happier situation. My subreddit is about bosses but I also give tough love advice for employees.

    6 months ago

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    apexbamboozeler

    What if I told you that you could be making twice what you are now by 30 by getting a couple new jobs.

    6 months ago

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    Independent-LINC

    I HOPE you are investing for your future so one day you actually have a choice.

    6 months ago

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    Nickyfyrre

    You work hard and do a great job, yet you say you have no skills? Why would they pay you what they do at your current job if your bosses thought you were not skilled at it? If you know that you have a pay ceiling that you want to break, start "collecting" skills from your current managerial role on your resume and start interviewing until you have an offer from somewhere new, then ask your current employer to match that amount and stay with even more money. If you cannot find a new position to interview for or current bosses won't take you for the new salary just outright leave for a different place. Obviously you are capable, and employers want young people like you. Know your worth. If you want to leave try to save by whatever means necessary and then make the jump to what you actually want to do. If you make money, you can save money. It becomes FU money with enough time. Best of luck.

    6 months ago

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    oopswizard

    There's likely a career center or employment department local to you. Reach out to them to figure out your next steps.

    6 months ago

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    pennyweed

    I was in the same situation..hated the job (to be precise I hated the people at the job) but I was making really good money. I had so much stress at some point that led me to having a breakdown and had to call sick for 2 weeks. Only after counseling I decided that it was too much and it wasn't worthed, my family and wellbeing had to come before everything else. I had a quite high management position with good salary, my first intention was too resign straight after my sickness...I would have worked my noticed out while finding something else. Instead I did something else which I can suggest you only if you really want to leave your position. I basically lowered my productivity weeks after weeks, I was starting usual time but always going out at 5 sharp,no more overtime, I was taking breaks which I never had in my previous 3 years, shutting off my work phone at 05.01 and not checking emails till the day after and overall I had to convince myself that I was not saving lives and if I couldn't do everything in my 8 hours it was just because it was impossible to do. This eventually led to my dismissal after 4 months, in the meantime I was looking for jobs and landed few interviews. Since I was dismissed ( instead of giving a resignation letter) I was able to negotiate a "payout" worthed 3 months salary, to be honest that was the best move I have done, the workplace was so toxic and I felt I was drowning.

    6 months ago

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    Hardcore90skid

    Is it a big chain? You could consider trying to climb to regional manager or something like that.

    6 months ago

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    Santiago_P

    As gm there a lot of places that will hire you on the spot, Try making an account on Linked and Indeed you will have a couple offers.

    6 months ago

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    moeplasty

    Advice for food industry (I used to get so stressed out at work) is to try and compartmentalize. Will it matter a year from now? Likely, you can achieve what you plan to achieve without stressing as much. Take it one task at a time. My GM used to get stressed out too and it demolishes quality of life. When you leave work- leave the stress at work. When you’re worried about a task try saying “I’ll worry about that at noon- for now i’m focused on xyz.” A to do list helps to physically check off tasks. Hope it gets better- I know the fast paced industry can be a lot!

    6 months ago

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    JWhiteknight1

    Let me tell you a story. When I was in high school I worked at one of the like 3 restaurants in my small rural town. My GM was a childhood friend of my mom and even though there was a decent age gap I considered her my friend first and then boss. GM had been at this same restaurant for like 15 years and was exactly like you described. However one year she gets remarried and asked for them to alter the work load since she was running a household. The regional manager or whatever denied it, so GM quit and went to work for her new husbands family owned woodworking business. Major pay cut, so either you can suffer, they can ease your burden, or they can lose you all together. Hope this helped!

    6 months ago

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    Dirtyaznstyle

    What is your goal in terms of another career? I came from sort of the opposite situation. I enjoyed the job, pay was good, good job security, 14 years and my life just doesn't workout and management handles it in a way that they have zero integrity in my eyes. The only reason I'd go back is the money but it isn't worth working with people I have contempt for. If you're going to leave a job that obviously you are good at, what do you think you'll be just as good at but love instead? I think you need to find a stress relief outlet or something that addresses why you're stressed. A fast food restaurant manager does do pretty much everything, manage people, do the books, ordering, scheduling. I used to do health inspections so I know 5 years to manager is no joke. It's never the best it'll get though unless that's the best you want it to be. You still have a lot of time, learn to manage and develop your employees more effectively so that they are assets to you where you can depend on them to help you out. Look for internal management professional development programs etc for growth, you obviously know the store management job maybe you would be great for district manager or get into training management trainees. Also good fast food chains have great corporate employee health benefits like counseling.... Anyway I wouldn't leave, I'd address the source of stress and why you feel overwhelmed.

    6 months ago

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    OTTMangos

    You are not alone in the food industry. The jobs are getting harder with covid and pay is dropping. I'm not sure where you are on the pay scale, but I've been in the food industry since I was 15 and GM's are making less money than before. It's hard industry. The hours are terrible. Finding people is hard and getting harder.. I'm in the slumps. Ha.

    6 months ago

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    waves-360

    No job is worth your happiness. Look for other jobs.

    6 months ago

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    Eschmidt013

    General manager of a fast food restaurant at 25 will definitely get you some hits on job applications. Start applying.

    6 months ago

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    lostmywallet72

    Listen. Money is needed but it isn’t everything and I realized that now at 24 turning 25 in a few months. I have been working in IT, making decent money since I graduated and paid off my student loan and I HATED my life, the desk job, the office nonsense , I can’t deal with it. I work At a warehouse now making way less ($10 less /hour, and I work with ex cons, none educated people, etc and I’m WAY happier, the job is physical but my coworkers are my kind of people , the 6-2 shifts are so nice cause I’m done early enough to see the sun for a couple hours and work doesn’t feel like dread. I don’t know what I’m gonna do next but right now I’m really content

    6 months ago

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    ripw44

    I hate my Job and still make shit

    6 months ago

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    zqrt

    Stomach ulcers from stress at 25? Bruh...I'd quit today if that were me. One thing covid made blindingly obvious is that health is wealth. If the pay is as great as you make it sound, then you should have a healthy cushion to last you a year or until you find another job.

    6 months ago

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    Acceptable_Zombie_93

    Save money and start your own business maybe

    6 months ago

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    DesignMASTERed

    There's a book called 4 hours work week, I highly suggest you to read it, it will definitely help.

    6 months ago

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    wrenchplierssocket

    Same here. No challenge. Just a time killer

    6 months ago

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    Pro774

    Invest your money in stocks and it will quadruple and u can retire early and be free email me [email protected] I can help you just talk to you and give you a idea no prob

    6 months ago

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    lobsterman1million

    I hate this say this but it sounds like you’re the typical case of the delusional human wandering and pondering through this pathetic 21st human system of life. You seem to have reached absolutely no level of spiritual awareness...but how can you, for you choose to be this cog in the systems machinery. I don’t blame you, it’s hard to get away...get away and truly be free

    6 months ago

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    do onlyfans

    6 months ago

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    Let me introduce you to onlyfans

    6 months ago

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