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My maternity leave replacement thinks I'm great

7 months ago

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Over the past 2 years, management has treated me like garbage. Being the only young woman in my department, I've faced being treated like an assistant, not being taken seriously, having my suggestions but from a man repeating it taken into consideration, and being told to use my "feminine charm" to get what I want from other men in the corporation. My mental health had been really declining. I started standing up for myself which went fine with my boss, but not for his boss. I started getting treated poorly by him and literally everything I did there was a complaint for. All my suggestions were shot down and I started getting in trouble for things that were beyond my control. I got left out of important meetings, despite everyone else in the department getting the invitation. All the training courses I asked for had been denied. Becaise of COVID and our living situation, it wasnt an option for my to find a new job and leave. My husband and i decided because of that it was a good opportunity to start our family. You can imagine the tremendous support I received from management but I figured I would be out of there soon and would just keep my head down. My temporary replacement is a man in his 50s who recently retired from a District Manager position in the public sector. He was making over $100k for over 10 years. The past week while I was training him, he observed, asked lots of questions and was taking if all in. On Friday he asked me how I was feeling, I said fine and he said great because he was going to need me to help him for as long as possible. Later that day I was showing him some more tasks, specifically my spreadsheet. He cut me off and said that this place was extremely lucky to have me work for them. He complimented my technical skills and soft skills and said I was the full package for basically any job I ever wanted due to my knowledge, interpersonal skills, etc. Hearing all this from someone at his level had me over the moon. He said I should ask for a raise when I get back from my mat leave and that if I ever wanted to use him as a reference, he would be more than willing to give me one. If only he knew what has been going on... Friday was the best day I've had in this job in a very long time. It's nice to win one sometimes and it really made me feel like my bosses are wrong about me.


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    Laylaonthemoon

    I know exactly how you feel because I had a coworker like that man. I really hope that you connect with him on LinkedIn and work on establishing a long term partnership with him. It speaks to his professionalism and experience that in such a short time he was able to pick up on your qualifications. Make sure you stay in touch with him. Also, it sounds like you’re qualified. If your current employer isn’t valuing you, start looking for a company that will.

    7 months ago

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      PM_ME_CORGlE_PlCS

      The fact that he is retired (at an early age) an was willing to work as a temp in a much lower position than he is used to is also a big factor her. This not only says a lot about his character in the best way, but also makes the dynamic of the situation very atypical. This man is not competing with anyone in the office. He is there (presumably) because he likes to work and keep busy, but is done trying to prove himself in his career. He isn't trying to show off to coworkers and isn't in an ego-inflating position. With the pandemic, I imagine is even more dependent on OP than he would otherwise be and knows that. The pairing sounds like an ideal situation for both OP and her temp replacement.

      7 months ago

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    WhatsThatNoize

    You work in a bubble right now - this wizened professional coming in neutrally has now shown you what perceptions lie outside your bubble. Polish up your resume and start applying elsewhere. For the record, I wouldn't open up to him what the situation is like at your current place until you're back from leave and secure. There's a weird power-differential right now with you in a slightly higher position of authority, even with the experience gap. This shows you the power of networking though! Best of luck :)

    7 months ago

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    Cultural_Training249

    Start applying for others jobs. I think he just pulled your coat tails. You need to get better at catching the clues. He sees they all taking advantage of you. So get your resume ready look for a new position and ask for more money when you get back. If they say no then take another position and use him a reference.

    7 months ago

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    Fozzie1988

    Hugs OP

    7 months ago

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    OldDog03

    You ever watch the show Undercover Boss, that's what this guy your training sounds like. Great for you on feeling better, some bosses are just not great. Be blessed and enjoy life.

    7 months ago

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    KindLion100

    I work in a similar situation. I am the only female in an all male IT group. My coworker asks me questions about our procedures everyday. I do my job and his job. The sexism at my work is beyond the pale. On top of that it is the federal government so one can only be hired as a vet. This is the way the job listings are posted. So we have a bunch of entitled white male vets and a few others in between. I hope they realize how amazing you are in your absence and that you get a new job while you are out!!

    7 months ago

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      mamuka2

      I don't see what skin colour has to do with your issue but ok.

      7 months ago

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    Anxietycollector

    As a female in a male dominated work place, I can feel your pain. I am completely excluded from any type of meeting and I am made to feel like shit. I hope I get a new job next week.

    7 months ago

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      ccassiopeia

      I hope you get it too! Wishing you luck

      7 months ago

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    R0amingGn0me

    Awesome!! I'm so happy you got these compliments before leaving the company.

    7 months ago

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    BanannyMousse

    I’m so happy for you! It’s hard to be treated like garbage for years without eventually believing it and embodying it. Congratulations on finally receiving some validation from someone at work who recognizes your worth.

    7 months ago

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    Bluetoothistheway

    So happy to hear this. If you don't get that raise from the company, dump their ass (when you have another job lined up) YOU GO GIRL!

    7 months ago

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    HLRX3

    This is your wakeup moment. Bottle this feeling for future times when you have doubt about your abilities. Enjoy raising your children and then enjoy working a side hustle when you are ready. I've been involved in some great work projects but spending time with my kids was my greatest achievement. Employers today don't give a shit about you or anyone, All they care about is the bottom dollar. Capitalism and greed have met and now we begin to move toward a more socialist/communist state. Put yourself and your family first.

    7 months ago

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    cerebral__flatulence

    Good for you. He is most likely observing some of what you have experienced. Take your mat leave but start an exit strategy plan. Resume, references, etc.

    7 months ago

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    MollysGamee

    Wow! you never know!! go for that raise !!!

    7 months ago

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    Lipinskip

    You know. Now is the perfect time to talk about what has been going on to him. Being a district manager I'm sure he has connections and can help your situation. There are laws to protect you so that of you were to complain you can't be fired.

    7 months ago

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    siddarth2795

    Haha I think your replacement just knew that you needed to hear something positive. Competition, personal advancement & ego often makes us forget that goal is to find the absolute truth that works for the team & company. Thanks for the share. Posts like these make me think very deeply of what kind of leader/ team member that I need to be.

    7 months ago

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