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Should I quit immediately?

14 days ago

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I just started an IT job at a law firm about 2.5 months ago. I'm already miserable and it's really affecting my mental health. I hate my boss and the company culture, and I don't feel supported by my team. I'm having frequent panic attacks and I just want out, but I'm terrified of telling my boss because she will be so angry. Should I just go to HR and tell them I quit? I don't want to burn bridges but I don't think I can keep going at this job.


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    Zestyclose_Bed_7163

    Quit, life is too short. You don’t need the stress and anxiety.

    14 days ago

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      fitchaber10

      This post is the truth. I also just started a new job 9 weeks ago and absolutely HATE it. I am going to start looking for a new job next week and will just leave whenever I get a new job. Contrary to popular opinion, no one really cares if you leave. You can be replaced.

      14 days ago

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    PMMeYourTurkeys

    I have been exactly where you are. No job is worth your mental health. I gave two weeks notice but my nightmare boss was so nasty about it I cleaned out my desk early the next morning and left before the work day started. With my dad's help (this was many years ago, before email, and my first job out of college), I drafted a letter to my boss' boss with a copy to CEO detailing why I was leaving before working out my notice. I did get a nice letter of acknowledgement and apology from the CEO. They didnt try to get me back or anything, but i appreciated being heard. I still have those letters.

    14 days ago

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    Internity

    So your options are to quit and look for a new job. Or stop caring and do a whatever work you want while you're there. Getting chewed out for something? Just practice apologizing like you really forgot to do something. "Oh wow. It slipped my mind. I was so caught up doing this other thing." Eventually they will fire you or you will find another job. Just don't stress over it. You can't change them into happier people so don't let them change you into a depressed person.

    14 days ago

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      SHREK_2

      agree. just go but stop trying... maybe spend the time at your job looking for another job... but quitting is a bad idea if you have nothing to fall back on

      14 days ago

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    OliviaPresteign

    Yes, it’ll burn the bridge, but you should take care of your health first. Leave it off your resume. And if you’re going to burn the bridge *anyway*, you might as well email your resignation in and not give notice. Something like: “Due to health issues, I have to resign from my position effective immediately. I’m sorry about the inconvenience this causes. Thank you for the opportunity. Please let me know what you need from me and the best way to return my company equipment.”

    14 days ago

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      verbeniam

      Why would it automatically burn the bridge by them quitting with notice?

      14 days ago

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    TetraOfTheSea

    Yes, quit. This shit is never worth your health. Tell them this job is just not a good fit, you don’t need to give them other reasons. If your boss is angry well fuck them, you won’t be speaking to them again anyway.

    14 days ago

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    Addictive_Lion

    You should look for another job and on the meanwhile, you should talk to HR about how you feel. If your finance and budgeting allow you to be unemployed for a “mini vacation” then I say put your resignation letter with a 2-3 weeks notice so you don’t burn that bridge but I got a feeling that that ship already set sail form your side. I mean, if you leave why would you want to come back to be miserable again? Good luck to you!

    14 days ago

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    drwtsn1

    I won't tell you what to do but I would tell you about something else: When you experience that amount or stress, anger, fear, panic or any other distress - you use up life resources that NEVER get replenished and can draw the conclusion where that takes you. Now we know life can be too short, and this is certainly not a way to live your days - no matter how much the money is!

    14 days ago

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    LXSIDFC

    I just left a job recently because of the stress it gave me and I have never felt better. Before I quit my job, I let the stress get to me so badly that I went to the hospital twice. After the second time, I just called it quits and decided that my health was more important that anything else. Please put yourself first because you only have one life and it really is a short one so don’t spend it in an unhealthy environment.

    14 days ago

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    thedazeddaisy

    Honestly, I saw your username first before reading your post description and I love it. Anyways, I think the pandemic situation kinda makes it easier and harder to change jobs. Easier because everyone is starting to understand their work preferences (i.e. work-at-home vs. work in the office). Harder because certain jobs might fill positions quickly. So if you're gonna resign soon, then try to come up with a smart game plan for finding a new job. Hopefully, the next job is much more likeable with people you can jive with and better working conditions. You can also try to find ways to cope with your feelings by talking to people you're close with, or finding new friends. I have some friends I confide with whenever I feel down or stressed. There are some creative ways to make friends in this situation. But hopefully for now, you find some comfort in the support you're getting here on Reddit. Best of luck to you!

    14 days ago

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      thedazeddaisy

      Also, since we're still in quarantine, maybe you can pick up a new hobby. You might find something that'll ease your mind. I like to binge watch on YouTube documentaries, read encyclopedias, play the guitar, knit, etc.

      14 days ago

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    nycgal013

    absolutely quit! i quit my “dream job” after a few weeks for exactly this reason and i love my current job so much more!

    14 days ago

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      wassupitsjohnwick

      How did you tell your boss that you were quitting? Were they pissed?

      14 days ago

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    Twizzler-999

    Yes leave it

    14 days ago

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    leezahfote

    It’s easier to find a job when you have a job. Definitely take care of yourself. Pros and cons when you feel calm can be helpful. Pros of staying and looking for a job, for pros of leaving no new job, cons of staying and looking, cons of leaving asap. You can get through this. You are replaceable, they won’t be mad, despite why you might think. Maybe they think you are not a good fit for the role now that you have been there… a million things could be going on. Only you know what is best for you. Be sure to take breaks in the day, get outside in the fresh air, eat healthy meals and try to leave work at work.

    14 days ago

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    Jack0fDiamonds

    You can always quit for "health reasons" and they have no legal right to force you to disclose why. If it's that bad it's excuse enough.

    14 days ago

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    Iwantmoretime

    A 90 day review/trial period can work both ways. If it's not a good culture fit, it'll never work. Give them two weeks notice and just say it's not the right fit for you. If they didn't like you after 90 days, they would let you go. This is the same, you're letting them go.

    14 days ago

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    Basic85

    What's your background and experience in IT? If you truly hate the job and feel that you can find a job soon after than put quit and no need to list job on resume.

    14 days ago

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    hemr1

    I suggest that you talk to HR and/or your manager about how you feel about your position and what support you are not getting. Tell them that if nothing changes you have to quit, and see if they will work with you. If not, start looking for a job, that will make your mind at ease and then jump when you get a job you like.

    14 days ago

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    lenswipe

    > but I'm terrified of telling my boss because she will be so angry. What's she gonna do? Fire you?

    14 days ago

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    pmain8

    Don't know what your situation is, but if overwork and scrambling to meet unreasonable expectations are what's making you miserable, then you know firsthand that in IT people will always demand the most they think they can get out of you. If you work at a furious pace and burn yourself out completing a task, they'll expect that from you every time, all day every day. It's one thing to stick with that kind of pace if you really want to keep the job, but if you already know you don't want to be there long-term, then slow down and do things at the pace you're comfortable with so that YOU set the expectations of when things will be done instead of them. Maybe their expectations will adjust, maybe they won't. The worst that can happen is you get chewed out and/or fired, and you won't be asking anybody there for references. That's a pretty similar outcome to just quitting, but it can buy you some time to figure out what's next for you.

    14 days ago

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    ILOVEMCU

    If you can afford it ghost them…two weeks notice is a courtesy

    14 days ago

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    Hobbit_Feet45

    Just quit, its only 2 and a half months just leave it off your resume.

    14 days ago

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    verbeniam

    Give two weeks and start applying immediately. Ideally you'd want to find a new job first, but your mental health is at stake. C

    14 days ago

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    Level_Lavishness2613

    With your field you can easily find something? Go job hunt and quit and stop worrying about bridge.

    14 days ago

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    MDC56355635

    2 weeks notice, at least, if you would like to keep this job on your work experience. Just be courteous since this is a bigger job, and be honest! Being clear is really respectable. Its not worth your mental health, so going and saying "this just isnt a fit for me but thank you for the opportunity" is good enough. Please be kind to yourself!

    14 days ago

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    oldfogey12345

    You haven't been around long enough to establish a bridge to burn, OP. You would never ask for a reference from that place because no working relationship has been formed. You are neither the hero nor the villain here, just a person who recognized that you are not a good fit for the job. Bring in whatever property you have of theirs this morning. Write an email saying that this is not a good fit, and walk out the door.

    14 days ago

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    Nullhitter

    Get a job lined up.

    14 days ago

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    bamboojerky

    Do you have another job linedup? Do you have an extensive background in IT? The market is really bad right now so wisdom says to find another job before quitting this one Btw I've had my fair share of s***** IT jobs. Don't be surprised if you find another

    14 days ago

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      jdb8272

      The market is bad right now?

      14 days ago

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    mp90

    Have you considered seeking treatment while being employed?

    14 days ago

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    MarkPellicle

    What is the actual problem? Are you doing something that was not in your job description? Are they doing something illegal? I don't ask to beat up on you, but folks at law firms typically think they are above the law and will do illegal/unethical things because their employees think lawyers are gods. Spoilers, they are not. Talk to a lawyer from your state bar association. They offer 30 minute consultations for a nominal fee. Just google your state and bar association consultation. Depending on the circumstances, you may be able to seek legal action if the law firm behaved unethically. Law firms are governed by different ethical guidelines and lawyers are constantly getting debarred for misunderstandings. Also, depending on the state, the law firm might not be able to represent itself in court. Obviously do your research first. Contacting HR to see if they can resolve the issue might work. If it's really a toxic place, then HR will feel the same pressure you do. Tl;dr look into labor laws in your state to see if you have grounds to challenge the workplace behavior. Contact your state bar association to talk to a lawyer. Maybe talk to HR. Edit: Also make sure you record all of your conversations. They may come in handy later.

    14 days ago

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    ILLstatic23

    If you quit after 2.5 months you burned that bridge. Also looks bad on the resume .. you do you though

    14 days ago

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      wassupitsjohnwick

      Yeah I figured as much. But can't I just leave it off of my resume?

      14 days ago

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    ImportantDelivery852

    Quit asap. I made the same mistake. Now I am in anxiety med.

    14 days ago

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    Enexprime

    If your not under any sort of contract…quit. Imagine the relief. And yes even tho now u will have to find another job at least ur mental and physical energy will be put toward something u want rather than something that is destroying you. I know it’s all easier said than done but, everything will work out. If you stay, things probably won’t change. You got this!

    14 days ago

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    LilSushiCat

    OP, speaking from personal experience, if your health is impacted by this place then please quit asap. Do not make the mistake of damaging your health further in hopes of finding a new job before leaving the toxic one or that things change: it will be the worst decision you most likely will make for your career and self and you will absolutely regret it and be stuck in a worst place.

    14 days ago

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    charleston_cheww

    Yes. Without even reading the post itself, yes. If you’re ever miserable due to something you absolutely have the ability to change, yes. Life is too short to be anything less than content.

    14 days ago

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    ssmilgar

    quit

    14 days ago

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    passivelyserious

    My two cents is visit a psychiatrist before you quit. While my Desktop Support job was giving me panic attacks as well, it turns out going to a doctor was the correct call. Take things one at a time, breath, and maybe reach out to friends and family if you are able. You’re not alone.

    14 days ago

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    BloodyLena

    Hmmm just my two cents, but quit if you have a new job lined up. So start looking. It can take a toll on you too if you have a hard time looking for a job after that. Unless you are good financially.

    14 days ago

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    The_Starving_Autist

    It's gonna be harder the longer you wait

    14 days ago

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    DarkReaper90

    Have you talked to your boss first to see if anything can be fixed on their end? You got nothing to lose if you're gonna quit. What bridge are you going to burn? I wouldn't list a 2.5 month job as a reference

    14 days ago

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    MonsterHDZ

    What about getting fired to collect while you look for another job? Anyone want to weigh in?

    14 days ago

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    DirtyPenPalDoug

    Gtfo. Your health is worth more than that bull.

    14 days ago

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    newton302

    Don't make work emotional if you can avoid it. It doesn't matter if your boss gets angry. She'd cut you out of her budget in a heartbeat if she had to. Just take care of yourself. Give notice in a professional manner and don't let them reel you back in. If you feel you cna't work another day, then quit and don't put the job on your resumé.

    14 days ago

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    ImamChapo

    Go to your doctor and get a paper saying it’s for your mental health. Bring that to your hr and give your 2 weeks It’s a medical condition that’s not up for discussion. Say goodbye to your boss and friends. No bridges burned.

    14 days ago

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    zoeystardust

    Phone it in and do the bare minimum while using your energy to find a better job in your off time. When you get interviews, just call in sick and DGAF If you can stand it, keep getting that paycheck until someone else is going to give you one

    14 days ago

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    MacFG

    I worked at a place for one day. Got there and everyone was complaining about how much they hate it there and when it can to lunch it was rushed that even staff would not wash their hands to save time. Walking in the next day and said I got an offer to play semi-pro sports which was my passion.![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy) I know a dumb excuse, but it was worth it. I would not have been happy there.

    14 days ago

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    VisciousDolphin

    Have a buddy who was a paralegal at one of the biggest law firms in the US- not gonna say which one. Everything you hear about asshole lawyers is true and then some. Get out. Get out now.

    14 days ago

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    blazedandconfused845

    Do you really want a reference from any of these shmucks? If not, walk into the bosses office, say this is not the right job for you, leave your keys, badge etc. on the desk and walk out. It's been 10 weeks, that's enough time to judge office culture. For your own mental health, gtfo 👍

    14 days ago

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    epic_pig

    Good advice in this thread. But if it's still too stressful for you to try anything else, just stop turning up to work. It happens more often than you are probably aware.

    14 days ago

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    natedog63

    2.5 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things. You don't need (or really want) a reference from this place, so just quit now, strike the job from your resume and focus on getting your head straight before making your next move. This is all assuming you have the savings necessary to keep your head above water for some time.

    14 days ago

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    Dynasteh

    I have been working IT for a law firm for almost 2 years, I have had some "fun" times I am sure you know what I mean. But at the end of the day I am a professional and I rarely takes things personal.

    14 days ago

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    Mongopwn

    Do you have another job lined up? Or do you have savings that could last you three+ months it takes to find something else? As bad as your mental health may be now, long term unemployment could be even worse.

    14 days ago

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