why is not participating at work such an issue??

a month ago

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AskAdditional5045

Some people aren't talkers. Some people just want to go to work and go home. If they're doing their job and everything that needs to be done, why is it such an issue if they don't participate in work activities etc etc?? It's like these jobs want you to bitch and complain at work. If you don't see a need in changing something, why is that such a big deal? Why do they want you to get so involved at work? I hate management and work culture.


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Comments

  • violetharley

    Not to mention if you work in a toxic environment (I just escaped one). People will ask a million questions...so they can get info to use against you later or because some are just friggin nosybodies. So I am friendly, polite, and VERY general. "How was your weekend?" "Great, thanks! and you?" "Good! What did you do?" "Oh nothing special. Hey, I remember you mentioned you were going to check out xyz restaurant soon; did you ever get to go?" Get em talking about themselves and you dodge that bullet. Alternately I cultivated a resting bitch face to the point where the service guys didnt even approach me lol. I am of the mindset that I'm here to work and go home, not marry you, but a lot of workplaces don't think you're a good 'team player" if you do that, so you have to at least put up a basic show of it. meh.

    a month ago

    1

    • Anonality5447

      This. SO much this. I am a pretty friendly person but it only takes a few run ins with the mentally unbalanced toxic personalities at work to make you realize you really do need to start out keeping a good distance from people until they prove they are not unhinged. You can't just be nice to everyone or you attract weirdos who won't go away quickly.

      a month ago

  • -Rho-Aias

    Because companies understand the power of social connections, and so they wish to use that. The more you're connected to people, the better your outlook will be at the company, and the least likely you'll leave.

    a month ago

    1

    • Anonality5447

      This is true but so many companies hire people with horrible personalities who alienate their coworkers. This is so common that people just expect to have at least one person in the office who is so difficult that you basically have to ignore them and stay out of their way to keep the peace. I really would like to see far more companies emphasize keeping a good environment at work by hiring people that aren't impossible to get along with. Probably a pipe dream though.

      a month ago

  • IntermetallicAM

    Socialization and "fitting in" is at least 25% of any job. And by "at least" I mean that it can be as much as 85% of the job in some cases

    a month ago

    1

    • sjmiv

      It is interesting OP didn't specifically say what it is they're complaining about.

      a month ago

  • yayae1

    Current situation- while WFH full time during the height of COVID, i received an amazing performance review for all the work I did, etc. As soon as we went back to the office, I'm now unapproachable because i like to come in, do my work and leave. Because i don't entertain the small talk with management and only speak or provide ideas as needed. I've learned to play their game but it annoys me that you're almost forced to do these things simply because of culture.

    a month ago

    1

    • NoIdeaWhatToD0

      I know and it's like I don't want to work at this place because I love it, I just want to make money to survive. I shouldn't have to do all this weird high school culture shit so I can have a roof over my head, I was really hoping that work wouldn't end up being like that. That's why I wanted to graduate so badly because I thought that work wouldn't be like high school. I just want money to survive.

      a month ago

  • Jammer250

    My company is all about “we want you to participate in culture events because people are awesome!” It’s fine that they want to reinforce connections, but I don’t want to go to a happy hour or potluck every week. It’s a very fine line between forcing interaction on employees vs. encouraging it.

    a month ago

    1

    • atlien0255

      Yeah, I work for an A&D firm and we have vendors offering drinks or happy hours or events all the time, but a lot of times it’s after work. I’m sorry but I don’t feel like drinking with a bunch of my coworkers (who I do like) after I’ve worked 11 hours, and even if the event was during office hours, I wouldn’t have time to attend it anyway. 🤷‍♀️

      a month ago

  • ahotassmess25

    Work culture is why I am fighting so hard every day to find a remote job.

    a month ago

    1

    • lena15kyo

      I got my first WFH job and just started. It’s great! They don’t even ask me how my weekend was. I was anxious my first week for no reason. Lol

      a month ago

  • PunditusMaximus

    Because nobody is actually particularly productive after hour 4, and there is a lot of effort taken to hide that.

    a month ago

    1

    • plutasss

      Studies show its 3 - 4 hours max in a day, and then it falls off after that

      a month ago

  • 40ozSmasher

    Seems like if no one participated then a few people would have trouble justifying how they spend their time. The classic "this meeting could have been an email" situation. I had a boss that drove me nuts by needing to talk to me constantly. I wondered how he got his job done so I literally started tracking his movements. Turned out that all he did was move from one employee to the next ALL DAY! He actually didn't work at all.

    a month ago

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  • Toki_310

    Just started a new job. On my 2nd day our company had a potluck in the break room for lunch. I was pretty shy and nervous to attend but I’m glad I did. My boss came up to me to chat and made me feel comfortable and the food was really good. Trying to make a good impression and show appreciation with my new coworkers even though I’m shy around new faces lol

    a month ago

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  • Chicasayshi

    If you want to move up in your current job being able to socialize with your peers, asking questions, and confronting to discussions is essential. If you don’t want to move up then don’t do it.

    a month ago

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  • cyclepoet77

    At least here in the U.S. our culture leans extrovert. It makes it difficult sometimes for introverts (I'm a textbook one), to feel comfortable depending on a workplace's stance on things like teambuilding and/or collaboration.

    a month ago

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  • unreadabletattoo

    Because it’s an extroverts’ world. It’s very sad but as introverts (I am one too) we have to put on a mask and pretend to be extroverted in any social setting

    a month ago

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  • Welcome2B_Here

    In many cases, these kumbaya efforts are pushed because they can't or won't address root causes to issues with their work environments. If everyone just holds hands and pretends to like each other then the workers can continue to create workarounds and band-aid solutions without rocking the boat too much. The fake enthusiasm and camaraderie can then be advertised and make the company look like it's a great place to work.

    a month ago

    1

    • drdeadringer

      This reminds me of the scene from 'Heathers' where the "school moral" staff member has the "love-in" in the cafeteria. She walks in full of cheerful pep on steroid-fulled hippy acid and everyone gets whipped up into the cheer holding hands and excited and happy and dancing in circles. Winona Ryder's character rolls her eyes and gets scarce.

      a month ago

  • ilistentotruecrime

    I hate this. For some reason I always been put in committees that have to plan games and stuff for our department so I deal with a lot of managers really enforcing this type of culture. It is such a big issue. Every time this particular manager brings this up I always make sure that I mention not everyone has the same personality and shouldn’t be picked on for wanting to work and go home. I am one of those people but I do what I have to do to play politics. I get it, not everyone wants to participate in Jeopardy that is focused around football. It’s dumb. I have been since recommending against forced get together unless your in a club. I been sending out social emails where people can submit photos with the months theme. Allows people who are shy to feel more comfortable and people who just want to check a to do item off can easily do with not much effort. People tend to participate more if they don’t have to talk and just have to submit a quick pick of their pet

    a month ago

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  • ogretronz

    Learn a high demand skill set and you can do whatever tf you want at work. It’s only when you are easily replaceable that you have to play along with all that bs

    a month ago

    1

    • Eldergod74

      Not sure that’s true anymore, at least not at the corporate level. I’ve seen a big focus in tech being on team building and emotional intelligence with brilliant but antisocial devs getting forced out.

      a month ago

  • danram207

    How many times are we going to see this exact post

    a month ago

    1

    • Great_Cockroach69

      forever until there's some kinda quality control preventing this sub from being r/antiwork-lite but considering you have one mod who is an antiwork mod as well, and you've got another mod in a thread saying make up shit on your resume, that's never going to happen. This sub is moderated by people who have absolutely no business giving advice lol if you want intelligent career advice from people who actually have jobs, go to r/careerguidance

      a month ago

  • Eldergod74

    It sucks but if I were to give any advice it pays to at least play the game somewhat. See it as job security and career development.

    a month ago

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  • Able-Bottle-8876

    I only wish my job had fun activities and team building

    a month ago

    1

    • AskAdditional5045

      Suggest it. It won't happen until someone puts in the work.

      a month ago

  • nIBLIB

    Because humans work at jobs, and humans are social animals. You don’t want to be involved in it, don’t. But you can expect to be passed over for your less productive, more involved colleague. Unfortunate fact.

    a month ago

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  • Mojojojo3030

    Well not sure if you mean speaking up at work meetings, or showing up to pizza parties, but it sounds like the latter...? Because most people want to have pleasant conversations with their coworkers. Because, especially in the remote era, people get in more arguments and misunderstandings without social glue. I am definitely guilty of this, and there appears to be nothing I can do about it, and everyone I've talked to at least feels the same. Physically cannot give someone as much benefit of the doubt if we don't interface socially. Because almost every job has some interactive component, and they're going to get worse at that if they stay in their hole.

    a month ago

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  • Chazzyphant

    Because most of us are at work for 8 hours a day, and working with grumpy, silent, hate-ray-eyes fellow coworkers is not fun for us. It's not all that hard to be a minimum of polite and getting along with your coworkers, in fact it's often an unspoken part of the job description that you must be able to get along with your coworkers and be part of a team and not a huge PITA who questions and pushes back on everything. But in addition, people who get along work better together. They brainstorm, share ideas, share work, help each other, train each other, cover work for each other, share resources, and more. So a team that is bonded and effective and gets along can get SO much more done than a team of isolated, crabby-pants people who just want to get home.

    a month ago

    1

    • AskAdditional5045

      You're making things up that were never said. Some people just want to work. That doesn't always imply that they're unpleasant to be around. If people want to participate during meetings and events, that's great, but I think its insane that you're looked down on for not participating in things.

      a month ago

  • xeshaka

    We live in a society or something

    a month ago

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  • throwawaycuzppl

    How are you getting punished? I’m not a huge talker either but I’ve never had a problem.

    a month ago

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    • jellybeanbellybuttom

      I would imagine the person would get on the chopping block to get fired/pushed to quit

      a month ago

  • ladypeachandsunshine

    My sister's probation period got extended because she "didn't socialize enough". My sister is a firm believer of coworkers are not your friends. It was honestly the stupidest thing ever.

    a month ago

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  • imFreakinThe_fuk_out

    If you're not out making relationships and allies you're toast. There's no way around it.

    a month ago

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  • Semi-Pros-and-Cons

    Because society is designed by extroverts, for extroverts.

    a month ago

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  • GodV

    In my intro presentation to my team, I tell them I'm task oriented and approach work that way including but not limited to 1 on 1 meetings or any meetings I host. My mindset is focused on getting the task done and if I do not engage arbitrary small talks with you, it's not because I don't care, it's how I function. Every once in a while, I will engage in small talks with a few close co-workers but that's about it.

    a month ago

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  • Bookish-Broad

    I have major social anxiety and mandatory fun has almost caused me to quit several times in my career.

    a month ago

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  • meronx

    I feel it’s a continuation of the whole “you’ll never get a job if you don’t get involved with extra curricular activities at school!” And “you need it for your resume, it will look good” as justification. But then you get the job, and now you are expected to keep up the facade.

    a month ago

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  • Neracca

    If you genuinely think that all you need to do in life is keep your head down, never interact with anyone, and just work, and you'll be okay then IDK what to tell you. Believe it or not people generally don't like anti-social people. I know we're on Reddit and you'll see lots of anit-social people here, but it's not nearly as praised of a thing as it is online.

    a month ago

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  • Intelligent_Local_38

    “Let’s all go to lunch!” Uhh, do we have to?

    a month ago

    1

    • jlc203

      “Only if you’re paying.”

      a month ago

  • Tilt23Degrees

    I love the after hours mandatory team building exercises that they always conveniently put on Friday’s / Saturdays and Sunday’s. You know, the days you would love to spend time with your actual friends and family. But you don’t get any of that when you work for a corporation, you now have a corporate family! They’re all that matters now! But the second you become unproductive, you’re no longer part of the family. Sounds like the most toxic kind of relationship you could ever be a part of to be honest.

    a month ago

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  • LizLemon_015

    hey, if they force you to talk, be sure to talk about collective bargaining and wages.

    a month ago

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  • Wonderful-Bit6160

    The worst work cultures are ones where if you don’t socialise then you don’t get promoted, get good working hours, extra hours. I was once told in a previous job “you need to go to the pub or it will look bad” Like Jesus fuck I just want to go home and sleep after working eight hours

    a month ago

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  • Torque_Can9759

    I don't know honestly. People are hella jealous of being comfortable with yourself so they try to make everyone else uncomfortable.

    a month ago

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  • TaTa0830

    I think it’s a generational thing as it tends to come from older people I work with. Most other millennials are people younger than me aren’t that interested besides normal work relationships.

    a month ago

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  • MustardTiger88

    I hate my corporate work culture. It's so contrived, everyone is basically expected to join and acts like they enjoy being on one of the \[too\] many a committees, and we have so many pointless meetings. I swear there is a committee for everything. A committee for all the different committees, too, I bet. They say you need to do all this bullshit to "build your brand" within the company. HOW ABOUT PAYING ME ENOUGH TO CARE! At this point I'm hoping they let me go so I can at least collect severance/unemployment and take a little breather.

    a month ago

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  • Anynameyouwantbaby

    I told my supervisor I would never, EVER attend a "pot luck" at work. Nor the "grilled cheese" day NOR the paint a rock activity. I hate that shit.

    a month ago

    1

    • erinmonday

      Waffle party..

      a month ago

  • verucka-salt

    You are SO right! I need to think things through. I hate brainstorming sessions the Practice Manager insists we participate in. I do not think that way & refuse to change my communication style to suit this dude’s agenda.

    a month ago

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  • rxspiir

    Because the world is catered to extroverts and everybody else just has to live in it…hate it here.

    a month ago

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  • biscuitbutt11

    Yeah I’m totally with you. I don’t like talking to co workers.

    a month ago

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  • throwmeinthesunshine

    It shows enthusiasm & that you like the company lol I get why some people are antisocial but I also get why companies prefer extroverts

    a month ago

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  • ABCmommy0813

    I go to my desk, do my job, and leave. Do I talk to the people around me about work issues? Yes, there is literally one person I speak to. But that’s because we worked together at Walmart 14 years ago

    a month ago

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  • buymeAboat

    The mandatory “the boss wants to get to know you” fun- newsflash, it is never ever fun

    a month ago

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  • FlyingSaucer100

    It's because for some reason, in the corporate world (and blue-collar world too), being loud and obnoxious is seen as a sign of intelligence and power. People that talk a lot, regardless of how baseless or pointless what they say is, are considered to be "natural leaders" and as such companies or workplaces want everyone to be like this. I have seen plenty of people climb very high up corporate ladder purely based on fake confidence and their ability to lie and bullshit their way through everything, no real skill or knowledge required.

    a month ago

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  • felltheblackwolf

    The workplace HATES introverts. Just another reason to let people work remote :)

    a month ago

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  • zampyx

    Apparently you should be excited to go to work every day. You should love everyone, be super pumped about working as a team. And of course, you never even though about working anywhere else, because that's your DREAM company! Sometimes I even wonder why I do have to sleep, wouldn't it be amazing to just 24/7/365 at the desk with all your amazing colleagues and your extremely competent boss until you die?

    a month ago

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  • rarelywritten

    Most of the time, every workplace has its share of people who would not be able to make friends otherwise. At a job, you are forced to see the same people every day and this creates an opportunity for them to get you in a corner and chat you up. I've only ever been friends at work with people I already knew beforehand that somehow ended up working there before/after I was hired. Not interested otherwise. Most of the people trying to force friendships at work are *weird.*

    a month ago

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  • MarcOfDeath

    This has decreased severely due to work from home, I'm not looking forward to this when I return to the office.

    a month ago

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  • OJandToothpaste

    I feel the same way. There are so many check-ins where you have to answer questions about challenges and how you incorporated being an active listener into your work this week and such. Just let me work in peace!

    a month ago

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  • pingmurder

    I've been watching Severance and it occurred to me that the character of Milchick is the perfect persona to put on at work. (You have to see it to understand). I can see being able to "play" that persona at work would make most employers extremely happy and get one promoted. Yeah, it would be an act but so what? they're only renting your time, not buying your soul.

    a month ago

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  • Zealousideal-Poem939

    I feel this so much. I’ve been with my job for 8 months and in the beginning it was great we would only have one zoom meeting once a week. Ever since January they’ve made us have zoom team meetings every single day. It’s exhausting and its super awkward since there’s literally nothing to talk about. I’m a shy person and don’t feel the need to suck up and say shit just for the sake of saying something like my other coworkers.

    a month ago

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  • Bestyoucanbe4

    Office politics is a huge thing now. People feel if your engaged and involved you are a team player. I do not agree with this...but I'm telling you the impressions of others. When I worked govt jobs in my prior life....that stuff didn't matter.

    a month ago

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  • DonaldTsEgo

    Companies, whether people like it or not, look for people to participate in things because it shows they're more dedicated to the company itself (less turnover and in theory better production because people are happy to be there). The reason they urge people to participate is because the people who are anxious to will be upset if people don't. Why does this matter? Because the company wants and needs to keep those people happy, because they are the ones who "create and maintain the ''''culture''''" It sucks, but if you like your company/job, and want to move up there, you have to just suck it up and participate. Because (once again, whether you like it or not) companies don't want people to see their job as "just a job" ... because if they see it as more, that translates to better productivity. I can almost guarantee you, that even if you're 20% more productive than another colleague going after the same promotion, but they are one of the people that love this shit, they will get it.

    a month ago

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  • Amb_301

    Because you are thinking for yourself and they don't like that

    a month ago

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  • Chemical_Doughnut248

    Micromanagement/power tripping is a helluva drug. That’s it

    a month ago

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  • Kfct

    From my experience, it's when management needs a legal reason to fire someone. Like a coworker being pregnant - oh she didn't attend all these after work socials like after work pub crawl the HR or board game night with accounting, must be a flight risk might fire first

    a month ago

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  • TheWings977

    It’s more about face time. They want to see how loyal you are to the company. Tbh, it’s not worth it if you don’t want to do it. These companies will replace anyone at any time.

    a month ago

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  • phoenix_jet

    I totally agree w/ you. Everyone is so feelings based now. Look at the upbringing of those now dominating the workforce. They need constant affirmation. You just wanting to do your job and get out of there isn't that.

    a month ago

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